


Don't Fade Away

by Boat_Nectar1, CCs_World



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blood, Blood and Gore, Dissociation, Explicit Descriptions of Genitals, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mild Sexual Content, Non-Explicit Sex, Panic Attacks, Sexual Tension, Violence, accidental summoning au, also taako loses his memory, barry doesnt research his spells, but its not super central to the story, but there will be graphic violence, if i get my way this story will have a happy ending, sexual fantasies, so watch out for, taakitz, the major character death is all temporary, this all goes down like 40 years before the two meet in canon, yikes it got sexy folks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-03 09:50:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13338714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boat_Nectar1/pseuds/Boat_Nectar1, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCs_World/pseuds/CCs_World
Summary: When Barry summons a reaper aboard the Starblaster, Taako wasn't expecting their accidental guest too be this attractive. He especially wasn't expecting to fall in love.When the crew finally finds a stable, lasting home, Kravitz wasn't expecting Taako to suddenly go missing. He especially wasn't expecting him to forget the man he's loved for decades.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Reminder" by Mumford and Sons.

Barry J. Bluejeans sits in a dark spare room just off the laboratory of the Starblaster. The room is dimly illuminated by numerous candles as he flips through the ancient tome. He found it just last cycle: some lost necromancy book of spells, and at last he has deciphered enough to read it out loud, even if he is not entirely certain of the meanings.

“Gfirvuil… ao zmy… um…”

Taako sits crosslegged in the corner, watching Barry with a bored expression. “Are you gonna do it or what, dude?” he asks.

“Just a second,” Barry says, “I need to make sure I have my pronunciations correct.” He squints at the book for a minute before intoning the words in a strange language (Infernal? Taako wonders).

There’s a split second where they both think it hasn’t worked, and then there’s a burst of fire and there, in the summoning circle, stands a man.

“Shit!” Barry swears in surprise, not entirely sure what he was expecting, but it certainly was not _this_.

“Hachi machi,” Taako breathes.

He’s _hot._ Tall and lean and dark, with long locs that move as if caught in a gentle breeze. He looks around for a minute, blinking deep red eyes, before saying in a cool, calm voice (but with a very bad Cockney accent), “Where the everloving _fuck_ am I?”

“Um, well you see, well…” Barry stammers to explain, “Perhaps it’s some sort of… misunderstanding?”

“Well, if you meant to summon the Grim Reaper, you’ve got it completely right,” the man says, his badly-accented voice clearly annoyed.

“ _Grim Reaper?_ ” Barry asks, visibly shaken.

“Grim Reaper…” Taako muses, rising to his feet.

“Unfortunately for you,” the man--Grim Reaper?--continues, glaring at Barry, “summoning _me_ requires necromantic magics, and my entire job is to arrest and imprison those who practice such  things.” He grins, and then that grin widens into a grimace as his flesh melts away, revealing a skull whose eyes glow with an angry red fire. Before them, scythe in hand, black robe flowing about him, stands the actual literal _Grim Reaper_.

“Hachi _machi_ ,” Taako says.

“Not helping!” Barry snaps at him.

The Reaper conjures up a large, glowing white book in his free hand. The pages turn as if blown by wind before settling flat. “Let’s see here… you appear to be… _oh my Lady_ . Barry J. Bluejeans. _Wanted necromancer_ on the run for _sixty-five years_?”

Barry blanches. “It’s… a long story?”

“Damn right it is,” the Reaper says before looking back at his book. He then turns to Taako, who grins and waves at him. “Don’t look so cheery, you’re not off the hook either. It says here you’ve died-- _four times?_ And you’ve never checked in! You’ve never visited!” He flips through the pages a few more times. “And it says that there’s also a Lup, died seven times; Lucretia, twice; Magnus Burnsides, ten; Davenport, five; and--Merle Highchurch, _thirty-two?_ ” The fire in his eyes flashes as he looks up at the pair. “All of you are in some _serious_ trouble, let me tell you.”

Barry glances at Taako. “I can just send him back, you know,” he says. “All I have to do is--”

“NOPE.” Taako shakes his head firmly at Barry. “I haven’t gotten laid since cycle 15, Barold. Let me have a go at this ‘Grim Reaper’, huh?”

It should be plain, universal knowledge that skeletons, or any creature without blood, cannot blush. Yet, the fire of his eyes reflecting onto his cheek bones makes the skeleton’s embarrassment and reluctant interest at having overheard this somewhat visible. “Excuse me,” he says, his voice a little less angry and a little more awkward, “I’m still--I’m still in the room.”

“Oh, I know,” Taako replies plainly. “You’re not getting away that easy, handsome.” He steps right up to the edge of the summoning circle and bats his eyelashes a few times for effect. “Besides, who’d run from someone who looks like _this?_ ”

The Reaper slowly raises his hand.

Taako lets out a mock gasp of shock, pressing a hand to his scrawny chest. “How could you say something like that to me?”

“I didn’t _say_ anything,” the Reaper corrects, “Now, please, we have important matters here. Unless you have a damn good reason, I had ought to take you all to the eternal stockade _immediately_.”

“Alright,” Taako says. “Get comfy, because it’s a long-ass fuckin’ story.” The elf sits himself criss-cross on the floor and looks expectantly at the huge skeleton guy until, with a sigh, his skin grows back over his bones and he joins Taako on the floor. Taako grins. “Good boy.”

About ten minutes of explaining later, the Reaper sits, mouth agape, accent abandoned in his total surprise. “Well… that certainly is a damn good reason. So, you’ve just been running for decades--Running from what exactly?”

“The Hunger,” Barry supplies.

The Grim Reaper nods uncomprehendingly. “Uh-huh.”

Taako starts giggling in the background, and the Reaper turns to face him, his eyes narrowed in annoyance. “What?” he snaps.

“I’m s-s-sorry, my dude, but--I c-can’t believe you ha-have to do a fake accent to seem intimidating!” Taako wheezes. “And it wasn’t even a, a good one! It was a shitty-ass Cockney accent!”

“W-whatever!” the Reaper stammers out, somehow embarrassed in front of two mortals, “It’s part of the job.” He sighs. “And look who’s talking. Do you always hit on random people your friend summons?”

Taako grins and sits forward. “Barold here doesn’t normally summon hot guys with scythes. This is just a lucky coincidence.”

Barry ducks his head. “I wasn’t trying to summon him.”

“That’s alright, Barold, I don’t mind at all,” Taako says soothingly, patting Barry’s denim-clad knee. “And after tasting my cooking, Bone Daddy probably won’t either.”

The Reaper frowns. “Please. Don’t call me that.”

Taako’s grin widens. “Skeletor. Boner Boy. Reapo.”

The Reaper cringes. “Those are equally horrible.”

Barry sighs. “Taako, just ask his name.”

“No, no, lemme guess,” Taako says, giddy. “Is it, uhhh, uhm, uh,” he taps a finger on his chin. “Drake?”

The Reaper snorts. “Nope. It’s--”

“No, let me guess again!” Taako cries. “It’s gotta be… Kevin!”

“Wrong again. My na--”

“Dylan? Francis. William. Sam. Bartholomew. Nick. Sage. Ry--”

“It’s Kravitz,” the Reaper shouts. “My name is Kravitz. Please stop.”

“Ooh!” Taako chimes, “ _Kravitz_. You gotta admit, I was pretty close.”

“You really weren’t,” Barry whispers.

“Hey, Barold, don’t you have something to do? Somewhere else to be? Krav-Cakes here and I have some important matters to discuss about the whole… reaping and whatnot.”

The Reaper—Kravitz—visibly cringes at the nickname, but doesn’t protest.

Barry sighs. “Yeah, fine. I’ll go tell the others what’s goin’ on. Just… don’t do anything stupid, Taako.”

“I always do!” Taako grins.

“Yeah, yeah.” Barry leaves a bit slowly, as if Taako will somehow manage to get the entire crew reaped in the time it takes him to walk out the door.

Taako leans forward, scooting a little closer to the man in the circle. “Soooooo, K-ravitzzz,” he says, testing the name out. “How do you feel about thirty garlic clove chicken?”

Half an hour, a broken summoning circle, and one Detect Magic spell later Taako and Kravitz are in the kitchen of the Starblaster and Taako is adding the last clove of garlic to a slow-cooker full of some oil, white wine, and golden-brown meat. “This isn’t actual chicken,” Taako had said when adding the meat, “cause we can’t find chickens on this plane. But it’s basically chicken. Tastes the same.”

“That's a lot of garlic,” Kravitz comments for probably the fiftieth time as he watches Taako in action.

“It cooks down,” Taako insists for the fiftieth time. He tosses in some rosemary and a pinch of salt and then slides the whole thing into the oven. “And now we wait,” he says theatrically, stepping back to lean against the little island.

“You're good at this,” the Reaper observes.

“Learned from the best.” Taako grins and points to himself. “A.k.a me.”

A startlingly similar voice shouts from another room, “Fake news!”

“Shut up, Lup!” Taako screeches back.

Kravitz nods just a bit in recognition of the name from his list of bounties, having to mentally note that he had made an exemption for the entire crew.

A woman, who in almost all manners looks exactly like Taako, and who must presumably be Lup, appears in the doorway. “I just don’t think you should be lying to our guest is all.”

Taako shrugs. “It’s not a lie if it’s mostly true,” he insists, “Besides, I’m teaching darling Krav here _my_ recipe.” He wraps an arm around Kravitz’s shoulders, who stiffens at the contact, but is certain not to push it away.

“Oh, the bland one. I see.” She smiles deviously and turns her back to the pair, sauntering back towards the other room. “Well, let’s just hope Skeliman sneaks some actual flavor into it,” she says teasingly.

Taako sticks his tongue out at her as if she can see and Kravitz wonders if she actually can when she responds with a middle finger.

-

To everyone's surprise, Kravitz does not leave after an hour. Or two. In fact, he insists on staying for dinner.

The Captain, a gnome with a huge mustache and sharp eyes, is very wary of him even with Taako’s assurances that he’s perfectly trustworthy. This is made all the more awkward by the fact that Kravitz is seated with the Captain directly to his side, with Taako on the other, grinning like this was his intention.

Kravitz clears his throat. “The, um, the chicken’s very good, Taako.”

“Thank you, _Kravitz_ ,” Taako replies, louder than necessary, “Good to know that _some_ people have _tastes_.”

Lup chuckles from across the table. “I’m just glad you’re getting along so well. I’d definitely take my brother having a super obvious crush over getting reaped any day.”

Taako’s indignant exclamation of “Hey! Fuck you!” is quickly drowned out as everyone’s interest turns to Kravitz.

“So,” begins the tall, muscular human, introduced as Magnus, “you, like, track down dead criminals and… kill them again?”

“Well, kinda?” Kravitz explains, “I find those that have broken the laws of life and death as established by My Lady, the Raven Queen, and take their souls to the Eternal Stockade in the Astral Plane.”

Magnus nods, seeming to understand more than he lets on. “Cool gig.” He chuckles. “Wouldn’t wanna be on the wrong end of that deal.”

Taako leans in a bit closer to Kravitz. “Really adds to the whole goth vibe you got goin’ on, my man.” He places a hand to Kravitz’s shoulder, fingers rubbing across the fine fabric of his suit. “I gotta say, the fashion suits you.”

Kravitz swallows hard and turns to look the elf in the eye. He really does has beautiful eyes. _Shit, Kravitz, no. You are a professional. A bounty hunter of the Raven Queen Herself._ “Um, thank you.” He smiles.

In response, Taako just grins and, just briefly, grips Kravitz’s shoulder before returning to his meal.

At the contact, Kravitz’s whole body goes warm. He decides to ignore it. He’s being professional.

At the head of the table, the Captain clears his throat. “Well, I believe I speak for all of my crew and myself in saying this was an entirely unexpected outcome of Dr. Bluejeans’… experimentation.” Lup nudges Barry with a giggle at the mention. “So, then, _Kravitz_ was it? How long do you intend on staying aboard?”

“Uh.” Kravitz clears his throat. “Not long. I just. I wanted to, um. Be able to build a solid case for my goddess. So she doesn’t keep putting you down for bounties.”

“So you decided to stay for dinner,” the dwarf with flowers in his beard--Merle?--says, and his voice definitely has some sort of suggestive undertone to it which makes Kravitz feel _dirty_.

“Yeah,” he says, because he doesn’t have anything else to say. “I did.”

“And can ya’ blame him?” Taako retorts, “What with such brilliant cooking and fine company here-” he nudges Kravitz’s foot with his own, “-who wouldn’t want to stick around?”

Kravitz is glad for his complexion. Maybe they don’t notice the blush that heats his face to what is probably 700 Kelvin. “He’s not wrong,” he says in a voice he hopes doesn’t sound strangled. “The food is certainly excellent, and the company is nice.” He smiles faintly. “It gets a little lonely in the Astral Plane.”

“Is that so?” Taako asks, blatantly flirtatious. From the way he twirls a strand of hair around his finger to the way he looks up at Kravitz, focused and half-dreamy, absolutely nothing about this man says _subtle_.

“Psh!” Merle scoffs, breaking Kravitz from his focus on Taako, “Aren’t there, like, a ton of ghosts there? That’s company enough!”

Taako scowls at Merle with a gaze somewhere between mild annoyance and murderous intent.

“Um, well,” Kravitz begins, “I mostly just deal with criminals so they aren’t always the most friendly towards me.” He laughs awkwardly.

“So, what,” Magnus says, raising an eyebrow, “you work at, like, ghost jail?”

“To put it simply, yes.”

Kravitz notices something just a bit telling about each person as this information is revealed. Magnus barely whispers an impressed, “Holy shit.” Barry gulps nervously. Lup grins, eyes and ears on Kravitz in fascination. Merle and the Captain both just nod quietly. And Taako, loud and obvious as ever, hums in interest. “Ooh, a death cop!”

Part of Kravitz wishes Taako would be serious. The other part of Kravitz never wants Taako to stop being so weirdly charming. Nevertheless, he smiles. “Sort of, sure. I use a scythe to collect my bounties, and I throw their souls into the Eternal Stockade, which is a prison for souls who have broken the laws of life and death.” He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a huge, jangling ring of keys. “The Raven Queen and I are the sole keepers of this prison.”

“Fuckin’ rad!” Lup exclaims, staring at the black, variably rusted keys. “How’d you end up with such an awesome gig?”

Kravitz genuinely appreciates that she does seem to find his job interesting and is about to continue the conversation with an answer, remembering how he came to such an offer hundreds of years ago when he-- But then the scene flashes through his mind again and it sends him reeling. The pain. The blood. How it all went wrong and all went black and-- “I-I don’t know I…” he speaks, voice significantly quieter, “I guess I just… stumbled across it, I… yeah.”

Everyone looks satisfied with his answer--except Merle. His face is suspicious and a little concerned, but thankfully the dwarf doesn’t say anything.

Lup leans across the table, staring intently at him. “Kravitz. Krav. Kravvy. Listen to me.” She stares at him for another moment before, satisfied that he’s listening, she says in a low, intense voice, “How. The fuck. Can I get this job.”

“Well, um,” Kravitz begins nervously, “you kind of have to, well, die.” He shrugs somewhat apologetically.

Lup grins at Taako. “Got that one covered!”

Kravitz chuckles. “A bit more permanently than you already have, I’m afraid. You’ll actually have to make your way to the Astral Plane _and_ be called upon by the Raven Queen for the position. Of course, I could always put in a good word.”

“Hell yeah,” Taako shouts, and holds out a hand for Lup to high-five, which she does. “Get yourself a job! Get out of this hell cycle! Arrest some shitty ghosts!”

Kravitz puts his hands up defensively. “I can’t make any promises! Honestly, I don’t have a single clue about how this whole… cycle thing even works in regards to you moving between here and the Astral Plane but, well, I can try.”

Lup glances at her brother with a grin still playing across her face. “Nah, it’s fine. We’ll just keep doing what we’re doing.”

Taako smiles back at her, some part of him sad, but still strong. “Right. We’ve made it this far!”

Seeing the strong bond the two have, some part of Kravitz aches. So long without anybody and he’s nearly forgotten how close two people can be. He hasn’t had that in so long.

He only realizes he’s been silent for probably several minutes when he feels Taako nudge him with an arm. He shakes himself out of it and looks over at the elf, who’s gazing at him with some small amount of concern, carefully masked with amusement. “Wakey wakey, space case,” he grins.

Kravitz shakes his head, blinking rapidly. “Oh. Sorry.” He chuckles, trying to play things off somehow. “Lost in thought, I guess.”

“Obviously,” Taako laughs, and turns back to the conversation at the table, which has somehow been steered to dogs.

“I’m just saying-”

“Magnus, no!” the Captain interjects.

“They’re better judges of character! That means good political sense!”

“I gotta side with the Human Shield on this one,” Lup begins, “Dogs should totally vote.”

“Votes! For! Dogs!” Magnus begins chanting over and over again, slowly at first and gradually gaining speed with the twins, dwarf, and even the quiet human women joining in.

The Captain has his face in his hands. “Magnus, please, we can’t keep doing this.”

Kravitz, watching in confusion, finally lets his professional facade crack. It starts by just barely curving his mouth in a smile, but he has to try hard to suppress a grin, and the laughter is building in his chest until he makes an awkward “snrk” noise and gives in to the hilarity of the situation with a loud, awkward, and completely unprofessional guffaw.

The sound has Taako looking at him, one eyebrow raised. “Kravitz,” he says with the straightest face he can muster, “do you think this is a joke?”

But he can’t keep up his poker face at all, and he and Kravitz are both a giggling mess within moments, followed closely by Magnus, Merle, and Barry. The woman is the last of the protestors to join in, but even she can’t even pretend to be serious in a situation like this, and Kravitz watches through the tears in his eyes as the Captain watches his entire crew plus the Grim Reaper lose it.

“Alright, alright,” the Captain says dismissively, nearly managing to hide his smirk behind a cold demeanor and bushy moustache, “Thank you for an… interesting dinner, Taako. You are all dismissed.”

“Aw, Dav,” Merle says as the sound of chairs scraping against the floor fills the room and the crew starts getting up, “you’re never this professional when it’s just us.”

“Yeah,” Taako chimes in indignantly, gathering dishes into his arms, “just because Skeletor’s here doesn’t mean you have to go all stiff on us.”

The Captain sighs. “Okay, alright. Look, this is just…” Kravitz can see him thinking through how to place his next words so as not to offend him. “This is a rather unprecedented incident for us that may well have put the entire crew at risk. As captain, it is my job to ensure the safety and success of this mission.”

“I see,” Kravitz says with a nod, suddenly feeling very out of place among these people who all know each other so well, “I apologize for overstaying my welcome. I will be reporting back to My Lady after this anyways and I can assure your crew will not be facing any threats from us.” He stands and prepares to summon a portal back home to the Astral Plane.

When he whips out his scythe, he hears the entire crew gasp. A chair falls over. A piece of silverware clatters to the floor. “Oh! I should have warned you,” he says awkwardly. “I use this to get from one place to another. I’m sorry I scared you.” He offers everyone a sheepish grin before swinging his scythe in a long arc and tearing a hole in reality. “Goodbye,” he says, and steps through.

“Hachi _fuckin’_ machi,” Taako breathes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Raven Queen pardons some sins. Kravitz walks in. Taako detaches. Cookies are baked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop woop read the tags folks! This chapter got unexpectedly sexy at the beginning!

Kravitz kneels before the huge obsidian dais where, on a throne adorned with the skulls of animals and people alike, there sits the Raven Queen, intimidating and beautiful in Her drapery of feathers and shadows, face covered by a white porcelain mask. Long-fingered, claw-tipped hands clasp the arms of the chair as She sits forward, leaning down to see her Reaper.

“Kravitz,” She says, Her voice low and melodious.

Kravitz lowers his head further in a humbled bow towards the deity. “My Lady, I have new information on seven fugitives, wanted for failing to fulfill the order of life and death.”

She hums, a low, rumbling sound that fills the room. “Elaborate.”

Kravitz looks up at her and summons his book, listing each criminal. He reads out the crew’s names and their accused offenses before explaining the case of the cycles that kept them from ever truly dying, along with the menacing  _ whatever it was _ that they had explained was chasing them, threatening the entire planar system. “You see, My Lady, they have had no opportunity to report to the afterlife and, therefore, cannot be held accountable. In the meantime, this  _ Hunger _ of sorts is a huge threat, which they are researching.”

The goddess seems to study Kravitz from behind Her mask. A raven shrieks from the rafters of the throne room during her contemplative silence, somewhere high above. Finally, She sits back, Her grip relaxing. A sound like a thousand rustling wings echoes through the immense space when She sighs. “Kravitz,” She repeats, and the sound of Her voice saying his name makes his spine tingle. “I must ask that you observe these seven Birds. We cannot trust what they tell us. For all we know, it could be a lie to keep you from bringing them to Me. In the meantime, I shall consult with Istus. Perhaps her knitting can tell us what these Birds will do.”

Kravitz bows his head again. “As you wish, My Lady.” He stands and begins to turn before suddenly facing back, awkwardly half-bowing as he remembers to ask, “Um, and when should I begin my observation?”

A low, resonating chuckle bounces off the high black pillars of the throne room. “As soon as you can, my dear Reaper. We wouldn’t want to keep that beautiful elf waiting now, would we?” At the look of astonishment and embarrassment on his face at this, She laughs again. “My dearest servant. You are an extension of my very being. I know your emotions; I can feel them course through your veins. You are a being fashioned from a human, with human capabilities and human needs and human wants. I do not feel right restricting these from you.” She might be smiling behind that mask right now. “Go take some time to prepare for your mission, Kravitz. Should I pack you a lunch for the trip?”

“W-what? No. No, no, thank you, My Lady. I don’t even- I don’t even have to eat! I…” Kravitz continues stammering awkwardly, as he has been since She even mentioned Taako and  _ human wants _ . “I’ll just- I’ll be fine. Thank you.”

She laughs again, and this time the emotion in that sound reaches Kravitz’s core, the piece of him that is connected to Her, and he can’t help but smile a little bit from that warm feeling inside his cold constructed body. “I will see you later, my beloved Reaper.”

He nods and leaves the throne room to prepare.

* * *

Time doesn’t work in the Astral Plane the way it does in the Prime Material Plane. To Kravitz, it only felt like a day, at most, since he’d last seen the ship’s crew. However, Kravitz thinks as he tears a hole in the fabric of space-time with his scythe, it’s probably already been at least one “cycle” since they last saw him. Time is weird, especially in his goddess’ throne room.

Things Kravitz was expecting when he stepped through his portal:

  * Taako.
  * Maybe a fun game going on.
  * An argument over something stupid.
  * The Hunger.



Things Kravitz had not been expecting, but is now privy to, as he steps through his portal:

  * A bathroom full of steam.
  * A running shower.
  * No shower curtain.
  * Very erotic noises echoing off the close tile walls.
  * Taako completely naked, water running over his body.
  * Taako’s hand firmly on his own erection.



A lot of things happen at once from here. Kravitz drops his scythe, which clatters annoyingly loud on the floor. Taako’s moan of “ _ oh my gods _ ” shifts to a horrified “oh my gods!” as he turns, his face a picture of wrath, only to see Kravitz and  _ scream. _ Someone yells from the other side of the bathroom door. It sounds like Magnus. Kravitz grabs his scythe. Kravitz hastily rips a hole and dives through headfirst. The door bangs open. The rift closes.

Kravitz stumbles into his quarters in the astral plane, heart pounding, skin still damp. Even with just the brief encounter, just can’t remove the image from his mind: Taako’s lithe frame under the hot water, head thrown back, cheeks flushed, mouth open and still struggling to stay as quiet as possible. He only got a glimpse, but Kravitz could swear he saw nipple rings. And his cock-  _ dear gods.  _ He was honestly much bigger than Kravitz had been expecting from the small man. Thick, and achingly hard in his hand, some part of Kravitz wishes the hand was his own. Clearly, he can never look him in the eye again.

Kravitz notices he’s hyperventilating. And since when has it been so gods damn  _ hot _ in the astral plane? He waves away his suit jacket in a cloud of smoke, removes his tie, and undoes a few buttons on his shirt. He sits at the edge of his bed, which is mostly decorative given his state of undeath, and holds his head in his hands.

Conflicting emotions scroll lightning-fast through his spinning, lust-blurred mind. The most prominent thought, and the one he's trying his hardest to shut down, is how he wants Taako to fuck him senseless. Embarrassingly vivid fantasies rise unbidden to the forefront of his consciousness, flashing images of Taako over him, eyes glinting and lust-blown, mouth open, cheeks flushed, or under him, head thrown back as Kravitz moves on top of him, grinding into him again and again as  __ the heat from Taako’s body and his own lust warm his cold body, the heat in the pit of his stomach coiling with each movement until-

Fuck, he was in deep.

He couldn’t get the fantasy from his mind nor the heat from between his legs. He decides to deal with that himself, vanishing the rest of his clothes at once and lying back. He slides a hand down his body and keeps up his fantasy as he moves his fingers, eventually coming hard as he pictures his shameless crush above him, quietly moaning unspeakable things.

As he comes down from the pleasure-high, he just feels awkward. How is he even going to  _ approach _ Taako now? Or any of the crew for that matter?

Groaning in frustration, he sprawls himself flat on his back and runs his hands through his locs--which he immediately regrets, because of his unfortunately sticky fingers.

Can nothing go right today?

* * *

Taako isn’t sure whether to be mortified or aroused. He’s leaning toward mortified, but the thought is still definitely there. He’s not usually into voyeurism, after all, even with having a very hot man walk in on Taako Time. There’s a reason it’s called Taako Time and not Taako And Stranger Time. As tempting as it sounds as a hypothetical, it has just been proven terrifying in practice. Especially when unexpected. And when followed by Magnus breaking down the bathroom door.

“I heard you screaming,” Magnus says by way of explanation. “Are you alright?”

Unlike with Kravitz, Taako doesn’t mind Magnus seeing him naked. It’s different with Magnus. “I, um,” Taako says lamely.

“Dude,” Magnus says accusingly, narrowing his eyes. “Were you wanking in here?”

Taako is relieved. “Yeah,” he says. “For your information, I was. What’re you gonna do about it, big guy?”

Magnus shrugs. “Nothing. Just clean up the shower. I don’t wanna find jizz in here later.” He turns and leaves, and Taako is left standing in the water that continues to hit his back, even though he’s too lost in contemplation to really feel it.

He finishes up with his shower and heads back to his room, still thoroughly confused. He’s tempted to ask Barry to summon him back just to figure out what the actual  _ fuck _ just happened. Instead, though, he just sits on his bed. Did he scare Kravitz away? Is that even a bad thing? Does he want to see Kravitz again? Does Kravitz want to see  _ him _ again? Why is Taako so  _ fucking _ worried about Kravitz?

Sure, Taako’s hooked up a few times over the past few decades, but after the first two were consumed by the Hunger, Taako hasn’t put any emotion into it. They’re just there to satiate his permanently high sex drive, just walking hunks of dust ready to dissolve at any moment.

Kravitz is different, Taako realizes. Kravitz is an immortal Reaper from beyond the boundaries of any plane. Kravitz does not die. Kravitz does not vanish. Kravitz is not dust.

And that’s approximately when the majority of Taako’s cognitive functions shut down.

Time passes, probably. At least, that’s what Lup says when she informs him that he hasn’t come out of his room in three hours and asks if he’s doing okay, if he’d like to come join them in the game of Fantasy Monopoly they’ve started, if maybe he’d like to help her plan dinner tonight. But her voice is muted and distant against the fuzzy thoughts in his mind, and he doesn’t really respond to her.

She leaves his room. She knows when he needs to be alone.

* * *

Kravitz, after enough time spent panicking and cleaning himself up, finally decides to return and deal with this properly. He opens a portal and steps through, faking as much confidence as he can muster, directly onto the deck of the Starblaster, where an obviously tipsy Lup is engaged in a shouting match with an equally intoxicated Magnus over a board game.

“You cheat! You’re a scoundrel and a liar!”

“Am not! You’re the one who decided she could just break out of Fantasy Monopoly Jail during yesterday’s game!”

She crosses her arms. “It can’t be any harder than getting out of real jail.”

“Wait.” Magnus pauses, thinking. “Lu, you know what the real problem is here?”

Lup’s eyes light up. “Capitalism.”

“Exactly!” Magnus raises a fist in the air. “Unite!”

Lup turns to Lucretia, who appears to be winning the game.

Kravitz clears his throat. “Excuse me.” All eyes turn to him. He immediately feels nervous, but refuses to show that anything has happened. “Um, I reported your, er, situation back to the Raven Queen and she is essentially granting you a pardon, but I am to stay for the next few cycles to observe the seven of you.” Saying the number aloud, he then takes note of the actual amount of people before him. The Captain, Merle, Lup, Lucretia, Magnus, Barry. “Where’s..?”

“In his room,” Lup explains.

“Is he alright?” Kravitz asks, and immediately feels stupid. Why should he care? He’s here on official business only.

“He’s fine,” she says without elaboration.

“Oh. Um, okay. Should I go explain to him?”

Lup shrugs. “Knock yourself out.” She gives him the basic directions and goes back to her communist revolution.

Kravitz knocks nervously on the door to Taako’s room, somewhat relieved they’re alone, but also incredibly nervous to see him one on one.

When there's no answer, the pang of nerves resurfaces and he hesitates before reaching out to knock again, a bit louder this time. On the other side, he hears a faint “hmm?”

“T-Taako?” he says loud enough to be heard through the door, “Taako, it’s me, Kravitz. I-I’m so sorry about that accident earlier, I can’t be entirely precise with my portals a-and I just need to speak with you about an important matter regarding-”

The door swings open. On the other side stands Taako in surprisingly plain clothes: a extra large t-shirt he stole from Magnus years ago and some grey sweatpants. His long hair hasn’t been brushed and he hasn’t put on any makeup. “Oh. Hey, Kravitz,” he says, as if Kravitz hadn’t already announced his presence.

“Um, yeah. Hi.” Kravitz has trouble even looking at his face, nervously flicking his eyes toward the floor. “I-I really would like to apologize for my mistake. I had no intention of-”

“Nah, don’t worry ‘bout it, homie.” Taako waves a hand weakly in a dismissive manner. “You wanna come in?”

Kravitz feels his cold cheeks go just slightly warm and hopes his complexion was enough to keep it unnoticeable. “I don’t- I don’t know, Taako. Really, I’m just here to- well, to apologize- but also to relay some important information about your crew.”

Taako shrugs and turns, walking back towards his bed. Kravitz notices the word  _ SPICY _ written across the butt of his pants in hot pink. “Yeah, well I wanna sit, so you can stay in the door or you can come in, but I’m gonna be here.” He accentuates the final word by sitting back onto the soft mattress.

Kravitz holds a hand over his eyes, thumb and middle finger pressing into either temple. “Taako, I…” He sighs. “Alright.” He caves and crosses the room to sit at the chair by the vanity. “So,” he continues, once he is what people normally consider ‘comfortable’, “I talked to my goddess. About you.” He freezes. “Not--not  _ you. _ But. You, as in your--your friends.”

Taako stayed looking towards Kravitz, keeping up a facade of focus. “Uh-huh. And?”

“Well, she, um- she agreed that you should not be held accountable, but that I, well- that I should, just for a few cycles, stay around here and, um, observe you. All of you! Um, that is. The whole crew. Just to make sure your intentions are, you know, amiable, I suppose.”

Taako nods. “Okay, dude. Rad.”

Kravitz studies Taako. “Are you… are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Taako replies dismissively. “Fuckin’ great, Krav, don't worry about ol’ Taako.”

Kravitz doesn’t believe him. His gut instinct is to ask again, maybe even go over to Taako, check for signs of illness, just try to help, but he knows he can’t. He stands and straightens his tie. “Okay, then. If you’re quite sure. That was all I had. A-and are you sure you’re alright with me being the reaper to oversee you? If it’s an issue now, I understand, and there are plenty others-”

Taako shrugs and makes a noncommittal noise. “It's fine by Taako, homie. Not like it matters that much.” His green-and-gold eyes don't meet the Reaper’s.

Kravitz stiffens for a moment, unsure if he should be offended or worried, but quickly nods. “Right, right. Okay. I guess I’ll go- um, I’ll go discuss this with the Captain, then.”

They both step away towards the exit. Taako leans on the doorframe, and Kravitz accidentally pauses for a moment to face him, finding himself unable to move the moment he realizes how close they are. He can almost feel Taako’s breath against his clavicle. He finally forces himself to look up, into Taako’s eyes and he looks  _ terrified _ . “Sorry,” Kravitz just about whispers as he flees quickly, feeling terrible about his own feelings and his own presence.

“It-“ Taako just manages to say before Kravitz practically sprints away. He sighs. “It’s alright.”

* * *

In all honesty, Taako doesn’t even know what Kravitz just said to him. He just nodded and agreed and went with the motions, and Kravitz pretended not to notice his lack of make-up and his tangled hair and the unfocused glaze to his eyes.

“He’s dust,” he says aloud to himself, as if to prove a point.

“He’s dust,” he says again, and his chipped-blue fingernails dig into his scalp as he tries to get the message through to whatever neurons were firing wrong.

When they had stood together in the doorway, so very close, nearly touching, Taako had felt--something. The first something he’d felt since yesterday. And it had felt warm, and uncomfortable, and comfortable. And now he just feels drained and worn, wrung out like a dishrag, and he staggers back to his bed and tries to recall a single piece of the conversation before Kravitz had turned and ran.

Coming up with nothing, he flops onto his back and stares at the ceiling. Now he’s been humiliated in front of Kravitz not once but twice, and he just wants to burrow under a billion blankets and die slowly of suffocation. And for a moment, he almost does. But he knows he’d just regenerate, and Kravitz would come back again, and nothing would be solved, and his fa--his crewmates would all think he’s suicidal. And maybe he is, but they don’t need to know. And only in dire straits like this.

“Fuck,” he whispers quietly, like a prayer. He knows he’s fucked up. He knows he’s a mess. But Kravitz didn’t have to see him like this.

With a frustrated groan, his hands come up to cover his face and he rubs the heels of his palms into his eyes a few times.

This whole ordeal sucks.

* * *

It’s early in the morning, only an hour or two past midnight, and Kravitz reads a book from Lucretia’s collection in what appears to be the sitting room aboard the ship. It is quiet. The crew is asleep. Of course, Kravitz doesn’t have such needs in his not-quite-living state, so he stays up, expecting a perfectly silent night.

Which makes it all the more surprising when he is startled by the clanging of metal elsewhere on the ship. He stands, curious, and follows the sound down a hall and to a room he remembers from his first visit: the kitchen.

There’s a single dim light on overhead, providing a kind of warm, sleepy ambiance to the room. This is where he finds Taako, back to him, working on something at the counter. Bags of flour and sugar, eggshells, tubs of butter, and various bowls and utensils are scattered across the surface. The small oven is preheating.

He waits for moment at the doorway before continuing in quietly. Taako seems completely focused in his work, not even acknowledging Kravitz’s presence. “T-Taako?” Kravitz asks meekly.

The elf startles so badly he nearly drops the spoon he’s holding. “Fuck!” he exclaims in his reedy voice, turning to face Kravitz. His expression switches from angry to confused in half a second. “Kravitz?” he says dubiously. “What are you doing up?”

“I’m, uh, a construct, basically,” Kravitz explains carefully. “In other words, I don’t need--sleep.” He frowns at Taako. “Don’t mortals normally need rest, though?”

Taako shrugs and turns half away from Kravitz. “Normally, sure, I guess. But, I’m fine. ‘M an elf. Don’t need sleep.”

Kravitz frowns. He looks tired. But seeing how quickly Taako’s moods change, he decides to keep this observation to himself and instead asks, “What are you doing?”

Taako smiles slightly. “Baking! Remember, you’re talking to- to the best chef in the whole multiverse!” He continues stirring weakly as the batter becomes thick before folding in chocolate chips.

Kravitz takes just half a step forward. “Looks good.”

“Psh! Well, no duh.” Taako rolls his eyes. “And they’ll be absolutely  _ perfect _ when I’m… when I’m done.” His speech seems to quiet down at the end.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it.” Kravitz feels as though he should check on Taako. He really does look tired, but he is absolutely terrified of making him too uncomfortable. “Taako, are you really sure you’re alright?”

“Oh, yeah, just peachy!” Taako says, his voice pitched high with something like nerves or anxiety. “Never better. Honest.” The look he gives Kravitz is one of desperation hidden behind cheer, which he dutifully ignores. He’s not a psychiatrist. Why should he care?

Taako eyes Kravitz for another moment before turning back to his work. “I sure hope your construct bod or whatever allows you to eat, because these are gonna be some baller cookies,” he says after a moment.

“Well, then I’m glad I can eat.” Kravitz still feels incredibly worried, but getting through to Taako seems to be a lost cause. But that doesn’t mean he’ll give up. As Taako finally puts the tray in the oven, Kravitz brings around a chair. “How’s about you at least sit?”

The look of suspicion Taako gives him is not lost, but he’s relieved when Taako takes a seat. “How long will the cookies take?” Kravitz asks him.

“Mmm, as long as they need,” Taako says quietly. “No more than ten minutes.” He leans an arm on the counter, and then he leans his head on his arm, and within minutes he’s asleep.

Kravitz is immediately relieved as he sees the elf finally fall asleep, his face relaxed into an expression of peace. He checks the clock. Not too much longer before the cookies should be done, by what Taako said. He’d hate to wake him up so soon. So instead, Kravitz carefully picks Taako up from the chair and carries him to his room, placing a blanket over him, and returning to wait for the cookies to be ready.

Being dead, Kravitz often forgets that his body has nerve endings. Not being a scientist, Kravitz often forgets that some of the most sensitive nerves are in the fingers. So when the cookies are done, Kravitz doesn’t remember that hot things, like ovens and metal trays, tend to burn one’s skin.

Needless to say, Kravitz took five points of burn damage and almost dropped and ruined an entire batch of perfect, golden-brown chocolate-chip cookies.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz and Taako spend a little bit of bonding time together. Kravitz gets a scare. Things get gory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys p l e a s e be careful reading this chapter, there are some pretty graphic descriptions of character death and gore in here so be safe!!!

When Taako wakes up from the longest sleep he’d had in awhile, he notices a few strange things. For one, he’s still dressed in his clothes from the day before. He’s been lazy before, sure, but he would never cave to the idea of sleep jeans and given yesterday’s outfit, Barry would never let him live this down. So, naturally, nobody else must ever know.

But,  _ somebody _ must already. Looking at the rest of his room, Taako notices a few things are tidier than before. Not much, not like anybody had gone through his stuff, but some of the clothes on the floor had been moved to make a path from the door.

He thinks back to the night before. He’d only been a little tired, he didn’t want to sleep, he went to make cookies and-  _ oh. _ He realizes that Kravitz must have carried him to his room. Which is… weird. After all, why would he care enough to do that? It doesn’t make sense.

He sits up, stretches until each and every vertebrae has cracked at least one time, swings his legs over the side of the mattress, and then, he freezes.  _ “The cookies, _ ” he gasps. Did Kravitz keep them in too long? Were they burnt? Were they underdone? Did all his hard work go to waste?

Taako gets out of bed faster than he has ever done so in his entire, lengthy life and hauls some ass to the kitchen where, sitting demurely on a cooling rack, sits one gorgeous, golden-brown, baked-to-perfection, chocolate-studded batch of confections.

He sighs in relief, and then his brain registers the rest of the scene. There stands none other than Magnus  _ fucking _ Burnsides, still in his pajama pants and “I think dogs should vote!” T-shirt, hand poised over the rack, staring with utter guilt at the elf in the doorway.

“Mooorning,” Taako drawls, a slow grin on his face.  _ Busted. _

“Uh. Um.” Magnus hastily steps away from the cookies, sticking his hands behind his back. “Morning, Taako. Wh-when did you make these? They, um. Look really good.”

“Just last night.” Taako saunters toward the tray and picks up one of the cookies to examine more closely. Perfect, just as it had seemed, though he had genuinely expected Kravitz to make some sort of mistake. “Hey, Mags? Where’s Skeletor?”

Magnus shrugs. “I dunno. The library, I think?”

“Cool,” Taako says in place of a ‘thank you’ and starts to rush off.

“Hey, Taako!” Magnus calls after him. “You okay? You look a bit… unkempt.”

Taako just flips him off, shouts, “I’m fine!” and continues on his way. “And don’t eat the cookies!”

He does manage to find Kravitz in the small library, seemingly immersed in some book on interplanar travel. He doesn’t hear Taako come in.

“Morning, Krav-cakes,” Taako says as easily as possible, though his heart still feels like it’s about to smash through his ribcage it’s beating so hard. “Get any good reading done?”

Kravitz startles and drops the book into his lap, effectively losing his place. “I--good morning, Taako,” he says. “I’ve been reading the whole night about the science behind your expedition, but--that’s not important. How did you sleep?”

“Just fine.” He nods. Taako takes a deep breath and gulps, finding the next words incredibly hard to say. “So, um, yeah. Thanks. For, uh, gettin’ the cookies out and- and yeah.”

Kravitz smiles, and it’s a gentle expression. Taako hates it. “No problem,” he says. “I think they turned out well. I didn’t dare try one until you were awake but I was, ah. Tempted.” He sighs. “It’s been a  _ long _ time since I’ve been able to enjoy simple things like chocolate chip cookies.”

Taako remembers the cookie in his hand and, after a moment of consideration, breaks it in half. He holds the slightly smaller piece out towards Kravitz. “Well, I’m awake now.”

The reaper looks genuinely surprised and hesitantly takes the cookie from Taako. “Oh--thank you,” he says. It sounds so  _ fucking _ easy coming from him. Taako hates it.

Anxiously, Taako watches as he takes a bite. He doesn’t lift his own shaking hand to his mouth, instead just observing Kravitz’s expression. Did he hate it? Did he fuck up the recipe? Was it actually decent for midnight stress-baking?

“Oh my  _ Lady, _ ” Kravitz says, his eyes going very round. “This is--incredible, Taako. It’s perfect.”

Taako relaxes and takes a bite from his own half and, yeah, it is pretty great. “Well, there’s a reason the people on this ship keep me around,” he grins.

Kravitz chuckles. “Surely more than one.” He then immediately looks as if he hadn’t meant to say that, face going just a bit hot, and stuffing the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

Taako smirks, both at the compliment and Kravitz’s total awkwardness. Maybe, just maybe, it won’t be so bad to keep him around.

* * *

In the days following, Kravitz notices how easily he becomes integrated into the crew. He watches as they move around him, a simple flow of routine which consists of daily activities, chores, and a relaxed schedule. Barry and Lup spend a lot of time locked away in a lab. Lucretia can never be found without pen and paper in her hands. Taako is normally in the kitchen or draped over Magnus who, when he’s not watching the outdoor security cameras, can be found doing push-ups literally anywhere, with Taako sitting on his back and shouting insults and encouragement. But Merle can’t be found anywhere, and Kravitz is worried. Where is the cleric?

Finally, he decides to ask. He approaches Taako, who simply says, “He got vored,” which explains nothing.

“He got… what?” Kravitz asks, utterly confused.

Taako shrugs. “Clearly I have a lot to explain on a variety of things, but essentially he talks to the Big Death Cloud every cycle and every time, it kills him.” He sees the worry in Kravitz’s eyes. “Oh, but don’t worry. He’s alright!”

“Right…” Kravitz nods. “He died and he’s alright.”

“Yeah, man. He’ll get better.”

“He died… and he’s alright,” Kravitz repeats. He tries to wrap his mind around the concept. Sure, he’s dead too--but he’s not entirely “alright”. “How do you guys do this over and over?” he asks, exasperated. “How do you get used to dying again and again? Doesn’t it get tiring?”

Taako waves a hand dismissively. “Psh, you know me, homie. I can bounce back from anything! Nothin’ keeps ol’ Taako down!” His tone is positively laid-back, but Kravitz can see something in his expression, his gestures, that just seems  _ off _ . He doesn’t mention it.

“Sure,” he says carefully. He decides to change the topic. “Do you have the same routine every day? Because I’ve been observing all sev--six of you and it seems that everyone does pretty much the same thing every day.”

Taako thinks for a moment, looks around and sees Lup and Barry walking hand-in-hand toward the lab at the same time as every other day. “Huh,” he says, “I guess? I dunno. Must’ve just fallen into some sort of routine.” He shrugs. “Who’d have thought a major expedition team would get all boring and predictable?” He chuckles.

“Don’t you ever--get out?” Kravitz asks. “Do you explore or… do you just sit in your ship until this Hunger comes?”

Taako holds up his hands defensively. “Jeez, of course we get out. We aren’t  _ that _ lame. A lot of our time is just first focused on finding the light and then we go out more, especially if there’s a friendly civilization.”

“Oh--okay. And this Light is the Light of Creation--it powers the planar system? Correct? It makes things more… productive?”

“Yeah, sure,” Taako says. “That’s a simplified way of looking at it. We’ve been doing a lot of studies on not just the Light itself but also its effects--that’s why my sister and her nerd are in that lab so much. Either that or they’re just making out the whole time.” He grimaces, and Kravitz laughs.

“At least they’re having fun while we’re all just waiting around.”

“Oh, shut up!” Taako snaps back with a slight smirk, “That’s my  _ sister _ .”

Kravitz puts up his hands in mock-defeat and apologizes, “Sorry, sorry.” He laughs it off. “I do have to say, there’s really more… life around here than I’ve seen in a long time.”

“Yeah, well,” Taako says, and then, dropping eye contact, he says something indecipherable.

“Sorry?” Kravitz says, leaning in. “I didn’t hear you.”

“I’m not fucking repeating it,” Taako tells him. “Maybe I said it quietly for a fucking reason.”

Kravitz doesn’t want to ask him again, but he notices that the tips of his ears and the whole way across his freckled cheekbones are flushed. “Alright, okay. I’m sorry I asked,” he says with a small grin.

The elf’s ears press against his head defensively and he still doesn’t make eye contact but he says, “Yeah, whatever,” and Kravitz takes that to mean, “I forgive you.”

It’s the closest he’s going to get right now, at any rate.

* * *

The cycle passes. It’s simple, it’s easy, and nobody dies--other than Merle, of course. Kravitz leaves just before they regenerate, just in case he doesn’t, but he is still able to watch in horror as the darkness--the Hunger--devours the planar system.

When he returns, he can automatically tell they’re halfway into the next cycle. He’s on the deck of the Starblaster and he’s managed to materialize right beside Lup. She looks up as he steps up to the railing beside her. “Where’s--” he begins, but she interrupts him by pointing. He follows her gaze to a thick, deep jungle.

“You’ve gotten here just in time, Lover Boy,” she grins. “They’re coming back today.”

“Back? Back from where?” Kravitz asks.

“Taako, Magnus, and Barry went to go get the Light. Now, shh! The locals aren’t too friendly and I don’t want them around when the boys get back.”

Kravitz nods and watches carefully. A minute passes, then two, then ten. Finally, after half an hour of waiting, he sees a light emanating from the forest. A moment later, Barry steps out with the Light, looking triumphant, which is nice and all, but not necessarily who Kravitz wants to see.

Then, he sees him. Taako makes it out of the forest and looks up through the glass onto the deck of the Starblaster to see his sister waving ecstatically and then, his eyes lock with Kravitz’s. And Kravitz feels something in his chest turn warm.

The warmth is suddenly overtaken by icy dread as, from behind Taako and Barry, three large men decorated with tribal tattoos and carrying large, sharp weapons step out. Kravitz feels sick, and then horrified, and he watches, frozen, beside Taako’s sister as one of the locals lets out a horrible, shrieking roar and swings his blade straight at the elf. For a moment, he still looks alright as his limbs go limp and a dark red line forms along the cut. Lup screams, but Kravitz doesn’t register the sound because he’s vaulting over the rail of the ship and running towards Taako, trying to save him, trying to do  _ something, _ but it’s too late, and the two halves of Taako collapse on the grass with a soft, sickening sound, blood pooling thick enough to look black around spilled entrails and fragments of his ribs that have splintered off through his lungs and flesh.

There’s a sound in Kravitz’s ears and a pain in his throat but he pays them no mind, his scythe forming in his hands as he races for Taako, and he’s pretty certain his flesh has vanished, but at this point that isn’t a problem, the problem is that Taako is now _two pieces_ and it’s _wrong_ and he’s _scared_ and he stumbles, falls to his knees beside Taako, burying his hands in the hot, warm, cooling mess of what used to be inside Taako, trying to put them back, _put them back,_ you’re not supposed to be able to see that, and he sort of registers a commotion in the background that sounds like slaughter but there’s blood everywhere, _it’s everywhere,_ _that’s Taako’s blood that’s soaking into the ground and his sleeves and his skin and his bones and he’ll never be able to get it off never never never never-_

Kravitz vomits, hard, painful, and now he can hear his own ugly sobs, words like “come back” and “I just got here” heard between gasps and hiccups and wails.

There’s a hand on his shoulder, and he looks up to see Barry Bluejeans, the man who summoned him, and he probably blubbers something like, “bring him back,” and Barry just smiles so gently and says, “It’s gonna be fine, Kravitz,” which just make things worse, because,

Kravitz surges upward and clenches his bloody fists in Barry’s denim jacket and he growls, “Bring him back,” and then there are more hands on him and they’re big and they’re calloused and Magnus’s voice is saying, “He’s fine, he’ll be fine, you’ll see him in like, five months, don’t worry, come on, we’ve gotta, we’ve gotta bury him,” and Kravitz is horrified because you can’t just--just dump Taako in a hole! Taako isn’t meant to go in a hole!

But Magnus is trying to pull him away and Kravitz can’t just  _ leave Taako _ and he doesn’t really notice but chunks of earth rise up around him, big clumps of dirt and grass and shrubbery and wood and fallen leaves just attaching themselves as his body melts away and his soul enters an earthen golem, standing tall, straining against the might of Magnus Burnsides who looks so terrified and so sad.

“Kravitz, wait! Calm down. We can just talk this out,” Magnus desperately tries to rationalize, but Kravitz is past that point.

“ _ Ohhh, fuck _ ,” Barry says upon seeing this new form, “Could he always do this?”

“No, no,” Kravitz continues to repeat over and over in denial as he tears himself away from Magnus, who retaliates by trying to punch at the golem. There’s the sound of bone snapping and Magnus withdraws his fist with a litany of curses.

“Kravitz, just listen-”

He pushes Barry aside. He strides back over towards Taako and falls to his knees. He cannot cry in his golem form, which somehow makes everything worse. He wants to scream, and fix it, and hold him, and tell him everything. He raises a heavy earthen fist and-

“ _ Stop! _ ” Kravitz looks down to see Lup standing between him and Taako’s body, arms spread defensively. “Kravitz,  _ please _ ,” she begs, “Just listen. I swear. You’ll see Taako again. We all will.” Her eyes are red and her fingers are singed. Slowly, Kravitz’s form begins to crumble.

“I,” he says as hunks of grass-riddled dirt fall to the ground, his earthen body shrinking. “I don’t--”

“I promise,” Lup says, slow and deliberate despite the tears in her eyes.

He watches her. Then, “Okay.” And his golem dissolves and his skeletal body reforms.

Lup strides across the bloodied grass and pulls Kravitz into a hug. He immediately stiffens up, but then allows himself to put his arms around her as well. His skin forms again and he sobs into her shoulder.

“Shh,” she hushes, rubbing circles into his back, “I’m gonna miss him too, but it’s just for a few months. It’s just like with Merle last cycle. We all reform, no matter what.”

“And- and he’ll be alright?”

Lup nods. “Absolutely. Hell, he won’t even be able to tell time’s passed. Meanwhile the rest of us gotta go without him.” She chuckles. “Lucky bastard.”

Kravitz sniffles a bit and lets his sobs quiet before sitting back on his heels and giving Lup a watery smile. “Thanks, Lup.”

Lup smiles back and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t mention it.” She walks back over to what’s left of Taako to begin pulling off his jewelry, the metal clinking together in her shaking hand. Barry walks up next to her and even just having him near seems to calm her.

“Here,” Lup says, dropping the assortment of metal cuffs and rings and earrings into Kravitz’s hand. “You can have these till, till the cycle’s over.”

Kravitz looks down at the beautiful items, rubbing off a bit of the blood with a thumb. He looks back at Lup, a bit confused. “Why me? I-I’m just the reaper assigned to observe you guys.”

Lup gives him a little smile. “It’s cause you like him, dork.”

“Oh.” He just stares at her, aware of the heat rising in his cheeks. “I--”

“Might I even go so far as to say you-- _ love _ him?” Her grin grows a bit more shit-eating.

“I--no. No. I care about him. A lot. But I think it’s a little too soon and a little too--too hasty? To use the--that word yet.” He watches her expression nervously.

Her eyes soften. “I like you,” she says, and pats his arm before walking over to Magnus, striking up some sort of somber conversation with him and gesticulating to Taako’s prone form.

_ He looks so fragile now, _ Kravitz thinks distantly, staring down with little more than numbness now that the original terror is gone. Gore has never really bothered him, not since he got the job with the Raven Queen, but seeing Taako, a Sun elf, painted crimson and black, tawny skin and golden hair tainted by blood and contrasting starkly with the green grass, makes him feel a little ill. It’s a picture of mortality elves were not meant to display.

The dizziness doesn’t pass for awhile, not even after they finally wrap his mutilated body in sheets and bury him in a small clearing in the dense jungle. Not even after the rest of the crew has found a way back into some semblance of normalcy. It just doesn’t feel  _ right _ without Taako around to complain and make bad jokes and just generally bring life to the expedition. He can see it in Lup’s face too, how she misses him, even if this isn’t the first time she’s had to go without him.

In fact, when he starts looking for it, he sees it in everyone. When Barry tells a horribly nerdy joke and he doesn’t get raucous laughter followed by the comment of “nerd”. When Magnus is telling a story and leaves pauses for interruptions that never come. When Merle talks about his plants and doesn’t get ragged on for his ‘fetish’. When Lucretia is found in the kitchen, looking lost, in the early morning, because this is where she goes to get the multiverse’s best hot chocolate. When Davenport asks who wants to play a game on a rainy day and nobody asks if they can just watch Fantasy romcom movies again instead of playing some dumb board game.

The next five months are almost unbearably long, but Kravitz sticks around for all of it. On the last day, he wishes everybody well as the encroaching darkness swarms yet another planet, and heads back to the Astral Plane, only to immediately open a portal to their new trajectory, hoping he isn’t too late.

And indeed, he isn’t--the crew is all crowded around Taako, giving him huge hugs. Magnus is crying.

When they hear the portal open, the group pauses. “Sorry, I, should I, uh,” Kravitz says, hesitating.

“Hell no, get your bony ass over here Skeletor,” Lup grins, and tugs him into the group hug.

Kravitz mostly just stays toward the edge of the large circle of people, hoping not to intrude too much. He is incredibly surprised, then, when he feels a thin hand on his arm and sees Taako carefully pushing through the rest of the crowd to hug him directly. “Gave you a scare, huh?”

The group goes silent. Taako doesn’t just  _ hug _ people like that. Normally he’ll drape himself across someone’s lap, or beg Lup or Lucretia to do his hair, but he’ll never initiate a  _ hug. _

Kravitz doesn’t notice. Nor does he care. He just hugs Taako back, tight but always careful, always hesitant in case he’s doing something wrong, and he says, right into Taako’s golden hair (which he doesn’t envision still being dip-dyed scarlet with blood), “Yeah. You did.” He smiles a little bit and pulls back. “I kept your jewelry,” he adds quickly. In earnest, he undoes a gold chain from around his neck, slides a few bracelets off of his wrist, and pulls two rings from another chain. “The earrings are in your room,” he explains.

Taako blinks in surprise. “Oh, wow. Responsible boy.” He chuckles and fits all the jewelry on himself. “Thanks,” he manages to say, if very quietly.

Kravitz smiles back. “No problem.”

The mood is almost immediately ruined by Lup screaming something obscene at them and Taako shrieking something back about Lup, Barry, and very thin walls.

Kravitz, both entertained and highly embarrassed, backs away to let the twins battle it out. He can see on Lup’s face just how glad she is to be able to fight with him again.

“Hi, Kravitz,” a high voice says from around mid-thigh. “Good to see you again.”

Kravitz looks down. “Hello, Captain,” he says, waving. “It’s good to be back.” He looks over at where Taako and Lup are now having some sort of wrestling match. “It’s good to have him back, too,” he says quietly.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Davenport says, nodding. “The twins add a nice energy to our crew--and their sibling bond provides a large portion of the power needed for the bond engine.”

“How exactly does that word?” Kravitz asks. That information wasn’t really included in the books he had found.

“Oh, the engine runs off of the connections between all things: bonds. But when they are particularly strong between certain people, some pretty amazing stuff happens. Do you understand?”

Kravitz nods, still watching Taako lose a fight to his mirror image with a smile. “Yeah. I think I do.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no such thing as a slow burn when Taako has a crush. Things get sexy. Beach year 2.0 happens. The nightmare scenario comes into play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahah this one's a doozy

The next few cycles have their ups and downs, as always. Sometimes it’s easy finding the Light and nobody dies right away and they leave behind a world intact with some sort of hope.

Other times, two or three crew members end up flying the ship away at full speed, empty-handed, watching an entire world burn.

That never gets any easier, but Taako finds the guilt lingering afterwards lasts less and less as time goes on. Maybe he’s just getting used to it. Maybe it’s from some new good company.

One evening, Taako sits across from Kravitz at the small table in the library. His brow furrowed in concentration, he swears one day he will beat death at chess.

Kravitz moves his queen. That day is not today. “Checkmate,” he declares, sitting back with an expression nothing short of smug.

Taako huffs and pulls his knees up to his chest, feet on the edge of the chair. “You cheated!” He pouts.

“I absolutely did not!” Kravitz argues, “ _ I _ , for one, am just very good at this game. Maybe even better than the Great Taako Supreme.”

“That’s nonsense,” Taako declares, sticking up his nose. “Nobody is better than me at anything!”

“Except push-ups!” Magnus calls from the adjacent room.

“Or pyrotechnics,” Lup adds.

“Or necromancy,” Barry chimes in.

“Or plant-whispering.”

“Or writing left-handed.”

“Or flying a ship.”

“Or,” Kravitz says, grinning, “chess.”

“How dare you!” Taako yelps, standing and slamming his hands on the table. “How dare  _ all of you. _ I have been betrayed. Scorned! Nobody loves me!”

Kravitz stands as well, hands on the table, challenging Taako’s stance. “Oh, yeah?” He catches himself. Where the  _ fuck  _ was he going with that? Surely not- no. He takes a breath, fully realizing how close their faces are across the table. “You’ll just have to beat me next time, then.”

Taako nods, somehow managing to stay looking into Kravitz’s piercing red eyes. “I will,” he says quietly.

There is a moment of silence where some sort of tension crackles in the air between their gazes. Taako is the first one to break it, saying, “Well,” in this breathy sort of tone, “I guess we should clean up, yeah? I need to make dinner, and, you have to, to do what you do while I make dinner, and--”

“Right, right.” Kravitz leans back, away from Taako’s mesmerizing features. They both start picking up the pieces of their game. Their hands touch just briefly, both reaching for the same knight. Neither one mentions it.

* * *

 

Taako isn’t sure exactly why he stayed up that night. He didn’t much feel like baking or reading or sleeping or much of anything. Instead, he decided to just walk around the ship until something hit him.

Or someone.

He isn’t sure why he’s surprised when he stumbles across the one undead crew member in the kitchen at midnight, looting through a batch of macarons leftover from dessert that evening.

Taako smirks as he sees the dramatic figure, cloak and all, huddled over a small stack of the sweets. He laughs and sees Kravitz immediately tense up. He points finger-guns his way. “Caught ya’ red-handed.”

Kravitz turns around sheepishly, mouth half-full of cookie, and says, “Fowwy.”

Taako cackles. “You look ridiculous, Crab-Sticks.”

Swallowing the bite, Kravitz can’t help but grin a little. “I can’t help myself,” he says. “Your macarons are delicious.”

Taako laughs as he walks up to Kravitz. “Well, yeah. Duh.” He reaches a hand up towards Kravitz’s face. “You got a little something right-” He carefully swipes a thumb right along the edge of his full lips. “There.” He holds his hand there just a bit longer than what could be normal before quickly retracting it and clearing his throat as some sort of nonverbal apology.

Kravitz opens his mouth to say something but he stops, and Taako is very curious to hear what he was going to say.

There’s a silence where they stand and stare at each other, and for once it isn’t awkward. Taako is actually somewhat mesmerized by the glowing red of Kravitz’s eyes, deep behind thick lashes, and he finds he doesn’t want to look away.

“Taako, I need to tell--”

“Krav, I have a qu--”

They both laugh, falling over themselves to try to say what they both want to say. “Listen homie,” Taako giggles nervously, “this is, this isn’t just, I’m trying to be serious here!”

“I know, Taako, I’m--my thing is serious too, I just--” Kravitz can’t stop laughing, and neither can Taako, and it takes several minutes for them to both calm down enough for Kravitz to say, “After you,” like the proper fucking gentleman that he is.

“Alright, okay.” Taako takes a deep breath. Just relax, just say it, just  _ fucking relax _ . “I, uh, I’ve been thinking- for once, ha! But, um, I, well. You’re really cool. And nice. And such a  _ fucking nerd, _ but, like, charming?” He sighed, frustrated by his own inability to voice his feelings. “A-and, well, I think I kind of… like you. Like, like-like you.” He bites his lip and squints his eyes, having trouble looking at Kravitz at all through a blinding fear of rejection. He feels so vulnerable, so exposed, so  _ stupid _ .

Kravitz’s face goes through an interesting journey. Shock to confusion to understanding to absolute joy so bright that Taako swears his entire face lights up. His gorgeous smile doesn’t help. “Taako, I--you stole my confession,” he laughs helplessly. His hands flutter in the air like he doesn’t know quite what to do with them and he can’t stop  _ grinning _ and it’s so adorable, Taako can’t stand it.

Taako stares at Kravitz for a moment, skeptical. “I- wait, no. What were you gonna-? You were… the same thing?”

Kravitz laughs nervously. “Yeah, I was about to admit-”

“Say to me that you-?”

“-that I-”

“But, you-”

They both break down laughing, unable to properly speak between their shared surprise and utter relief.

“So I,” Kravitz begins, just as Taako also begins talking. “Oh, sorry.”

“Nah, homie, you go first.”

“No, you, I insist.”

“Kravitz, seriously, you should-”

“No, really.”

“Oh my  _ gods, _ just-” Taako, sick of the awkward exchange, quickly strides forward and kisses Kravitz plainly on the lips.

Almost immediately Taako lets out a muffled yelp and stumbles back so quickly he almost falls over his own feet. “Shit, Krav! Your face is a fuckin’ ice cube!”

“Sorry!” Kravitz gasps, his hands immediately going to his mouth, and Taako watches with amusement as Kravitz blows several times into his hands. “I didn’t--I didn’t think it would be cold and weird for you, I’m so sorry.”

Taako grins and gently pulls Kravitz’s hands away from his face. “It’s fine, homie, no problemo.” He leans in again. “I’m kinda into it.”

“I… oh,” Kravitz says quietly, his eyes fluttering closed despite himself as Taako cups his face and closes the distance again.

This time, Taako is expecting it and, yeah, he’s definitely into it. Kravitz’s mouth is cool, not cold, and its contrast against Taako’s warm skin is a unique feeling that he definitely doesn’t want to stop.

Kravitz freezes up for a moment, arms stiff by his side, before allowing himself to melt into the feeling, trying to figure out where exactly to put his hands, starting on Taako’s shoulders and settling above his hips.

Taako, being mortal and needing air, eventually pulls back and opens his eyes, a slight smile gracing his face.

Kravitz rapidly blinks his eyes open to see the man before him, looking at nothing but him, cheeks red, still holding onto each other. “Wow…” Kravitz says. He draws in a shaky and entirely unnecessary breath. “That was… nice.”

“Yeah,” Taako says, for once at a loss for words. “Yeah.”

“You, uh-” Kravitz nervously clears his throat. “You want to do that again?”

Taako nods, pulling his face back in. “Definitely.”

They kiss again. Kravitz uses the position of his hands to pull Taako even closer, until he’s pressed completely against him. Taako continues this motion and steps forward, causing Kravitz to stumble back against the kitchen counter, catching his hands on the edge and knocking a macaron onto the floor.

Taako pulls back. “Is this okay?” He sounds completely genuine and Kravitz can hear in his voice that he actually cares.

Kravitz nods. “Yeah. This is good.”

With a sly smirk, Taako leans back in for another quick kiss on the lips before moving down towards his neck, leaving small bites and heavy kisses along the way.

Kravitz gasps. “That… that’s- uh, yeah. Still good. Really good.”

Taako laughs against his neck. “Tell me ‘bout it.”

Kravitz shifts his thigh to press between the elf’s legs. Taako gasps against him and pauses, surprised. “Gladly.”

Taako looks up at Kravitz, using all of his willpower not to rut against his leg. “You sly bastard.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Fair, fair,” Taako mutters as he begins unbuttoning Kravitz’s suit jacket. “So, how would you like to take this elsewhere? Maybe somewhere more comfortable?”

“Good. Good plan. I would  _ very _ much like that,” Kravitz agrees, standing up from the edge of the counter.

Taako wraps a hand against the back of his head and pulls him in for another deep, open-mouthed kiss, before grabbing Kravitz’s hand and running off down the hall.

It all happens quickly from there. Kravitz shuts the door behind them, careful to be absolutely silent, before Taako quickly presses up against him, pinning him to the door, and kissing him again.

Kravitz kisses back and slips a few fingers beneath the bottom of Taako’s sweater. He pulls back to speak. “Is this all okay with you?”

Taako nods and quickly pecks Kravitz’s cheek. “Yeah. You?”

“Absolutely.” He lifts the shirt up and off as Taako rids him of his suit jacket. “You know I can just make this all disappear, right?”

Taako shakes his head. “But where’s the fun in that?” He slides a hand between Kravitz’s legs. For a half a second, he pauses. Kravitz opens his mouth to explain and apologize, but is cut off by another kiss that says enough from Taako.

They continue undressing each other until they both fall against the mattress in nothing but their underwear. Taako straddles Kravitz’s hips and leans in to kiss him. Kravitz has his hands firmly on the elf’s ass and begins kissing down along his clavicle before pulling back. “Hey?”

Taako quickly sits up, worried something might be wrong. “Yeah?”

Kravitz smiles. “You’re… really beautiful.”

Taako stares back at him for a moment, almost confused, before laughing and planting a hand on his chest. “Well, yeah. Duh! And, uh, you’re not so bad yourself, Skeletor.”

“Okay, just setting it up now. No bone jokes or sex is cancelled.”

“Oh come ooooon! Why you gotta ruin my fun?”

“Um, if this isn’t enough fun for you, we could just call it here,” Kravitz teases.

“Nuh-uh, buddy. No way. Taako is good to go.”

“Good,” Kravitz whispers, “Then, let’s get going.” He slides a hand down against the fabric of Taako’s underwear and can tell he’s already half-hard.

He chokes back a moan and nudges Kravitz’s legs apart. He rids them both of the remaining fabric, only for Kravitz to reach down and grab onto his cock. “Ooooh, jeezy creezy.”

“Too cold?” Kravitz asks, loosening his grip.

“No, no, no! Just… different. But, good.” Taako clarifies, hips canting up towards Kravitz’s hand.

He mutters a basic cantrip, slicking his hand, and slowly pumps him up to full hardness. Taako retaliates by pressing two fingers shallowly at Kravitz’s entrance, stretching him slowly and rubbing his thumb over his clit.

After both are thoroughly ready, panting and aching for contact, Taako positions himself at Kravitz’s entrance. “Is this okay?” he asks again.

Kravitz holds a hand over his face, which has grown hot from arousal and vulnerability. “Fuck. Please… just-”

“Just what?”

“Do I have to say it?”

“I’m gonna need total clarity here, my dude.”

Kravitz groans. “Just  _ fuck me. _ ”

And Taako gladly obliges, slowly and carefully sinking in.

It’s slow and nice as they move against each other, hands grasping at sheets and flesh. Kravitz is indeed as cold as expected, but that doesn’t seem to bother Taako in the least. He moans nonsense into Kravitz’s shoulder between kisses along with the sighing of “so good” and “oh my gods, Krav.”

They pick up speed as they both grow more and more desperate, Kravitz with his hand rubbing rapidly at his own clit. “Taako,” he warns in a strained voice, “Taako, I-I’m gonna-”

“I know, I know,” Taako says, nails digging into the skin at Kravitz’s waist, “Come on.”

Kravitz finishes first, trying and failing to silence the moan that comes out of him. “Oh my gods, oh my  _ gods, Taako _ .”

“Fuck,” Taako swears as he tenses around him. He isn’t too far behind, hips stuttering, and eventually collapsing against him with a litany of swears and what almost sounds like Kravitz’s name.

After a moment of silence, Taako slides off and lays down next to Kravitz, arms pressed together. “That… was really good.”

Kravitz laughs quietly. “Oh, yeah. Really good. I- uh. I haven’t done… that… in a long time.”

Taako laughs too. “Well, you still got it, my dude. Definitely.”

Kravitz smiles and turns towards Taako. “Thanks, but that was mostly all you there.” He sighs and looks around the room. It is seriously late. “I, uh. I guess I better let you sleep then, huh?” He starts to climb out of the bed.

“Wait, no.” Taako quickly grabs his arm. Kravitz turns to see Taako looking at him, somewhat embarrassed. “You should… you should stay. If you want. Maybe try out sleeping? For fun.”

Kravitz smiles and climbs back toward him, pulling a blanket over them both. “I’d like that.” He kisses Taako on the nose and closes his eyes as he tries to relax.

And before long, his consciousness eases itself into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

 

Kravitz wakes up with a groan. His body aches in an exquisite way but he feels sticky and kind of gross.

Then he registers it--a warmth beside him, something hot and breathing on him. Loudly.

Blinking sleepily, he turns over and looks for the source of the heat. “Taako?” he mumbles upon finding the elf, who is functioning as a slightly smaller big spoon and who opens his eyes sluggishly.

“Mmmfph?”

“What are we--?” Kravitz tries to recall the events of the previous night and when he does, he feels himself blush. “Taako, did we--”

Taako blinks. “Oh. Hell yeah.” A slow, catlike smile creeps onto his face. “Hell fuckin’ yeah we did.” He sits up slowly and stretches, and Kravitz winces with each crack of Taako’s spine. “I’ve gotta say, I don’t regret anything.” He narrows his eyes at Kravitz. “You don’t either, do you?”

“No,” Kravitz says hastily. “No, I don’t--”

There’s a banging on Taako’s door. “Taakoooo,” Magnus’s voice whines. “I’m hungry.”

Kravitz freezes. What would Magnus say if he found a Very Naked Kravitz in Taako’s bedroom?

“Go get Lup to make you something,” Taako shouts back. “I don’t have to do everything around here.”

“Yeah, but you make better pancakes,” Magnus argues petulantly.

“Shit,” Taako hisses. “I can’t get you out of this one, bubbelah.”

Kravitz grimaces. “I’ll just… I’ll be fine.”

Taako studies him. “Okay,” he says. He quickly clambers out of bed and throws on a clean but simple outfit. “Fuck off, Magnus, I’ll be out in a minute.”

He pauses, waiting until he hears Magnus’s footsteps retreat. “I think I saved it,” Taako says, grinning at Kravitz.

“We can hope,” Kravitz smiles back.

“Get dressed and be in the kitchen in ten or fifteen,” Taako instructs before tying his hair back and leaving the room without looking back.

It takes Kravitz a little time to get out of bed, but he finally manages to do it. With a few quick prestidigitation spells he’s fairly clean, and he manifests new clothing easily--a dressed-down look of a simple short-sleeved button-down and soft grey slacks.

He takes a deep breath, and then he opens the door.

Only to find Lup standing right there, a grin that can only be described as shit-eating plastered to her face. “Hey, skelly boy,” she says. “Had fun last night, did you?”

“I--I--I--” Kravitz stammers.

“Kravitz?”

The reaper in question turns his head quickly to look down the hall, and when he sees Lucretia, he turns to run away.

“Uh-uh,” Lup says, smirk never leaving her face. “You’ve gotta finish the Walk now.”

Kravitz’s face heats up but he nods. He can do this.

The walk to the kitchen feels like a thousand miles. Somehow every crew member other than Taako has managed to manifest in the hallway and watches him with wide, judging eyes. Someone giggles.

Then, miraculously, the smell of pancakes wafts down the hall from the kitchen and everyone vanishes, summoned by the incredible scent. As soon as they’re gone, the hallway is no longer endless, the kitchen is only a few steps away, and Kravitz enters to find Taako standing at the stove, flipping pancakes on a griddle, humming softly to himself, and everyone else crowded around him.

“Good morning,” Kravitz says nervously.

“Morning, motek,” Taako calls over his shoulder. “Join the throngs, why don’tcha? Taako’s famous for his pancakes in multiple planar systems.”

Kravitz hesitates, but he joins the crew in watching Taako cook. The pancakes look incredible, he thinks, and then he wonders what’s happening, because he’s never hungry. His body is a construct. He doesn’t need food.

“Morning,” a voice says from somewhere around his hip. He looks down to see Merle, who gives him a wink and a racy grin that makes Kravitz feel like he’s about to burst into flames.

“Leave him alone,” Taako says vacantly, “or no pancakes for you.”

“Taako’s in lo-ove,” Lup sings.

“Get out of my fuckin’ kitchen with that vulgar language, Lulu,” Taako shoots back.

“What? The four-letter word? The L-O-V-E word? You mean you don’t lo--”

A very effective Hold Person shuts Lup up.

The next thing Kravitz knows, there’s a bony hand reaching for him, and when it finds him, it pulls him forward so he’s right beside Taako. “You get a front row seat,” the elf whispers amusedly. “Don’t want any of these chucklefucks scaring you off or, or anything.” He winks.

Kravitz sits directly next to Taako for the entirety of breakfast, which is better than it could be, but still sufficiently awkward, with Taako’s foot trailing up his leg, Lup watching him knowingly, and the Captain staring at him with his typical unreadable expression. At least the pancakes are, indeed, the best in any plane Kravitz had ever visited.

At the end of the meal, when Taako has shooed everybody out, he calls Kravitz aside to “help him wash the dishes.” And they do that. At first. Until Taako glances his way. “So,” he begins, and then goes quiet again, waiting on a reply.

“Hmm?” Kravitz asks, scrubbing out a bowl of dried batter.

“I was just thinking, and, um, well, wondering if you wanted to just ignore this whole… thing? Or if, maybe, you’d wanna make this a regular deal?”

Kravitz almost drops the bowl on the floor but catches it thanks to his enhanced reflexes. “Oh, I--Taako, I don’t want to--I mean--”

“No, it’s fine, I get it.” Taako’s voice has gone flat, though he’s scrubbing harder than he ought to at a plate. “You’re not the first one to want a piece of this and then just--just--” Taako stops, abrupt, sharp, and it drives a knife into Kravitz’s heart.

“That’s not what I meant,” he protests. “I just don’t want to--to get in the way of you and your friends, I already feel like I’m intruding, I just--you all have known each other for almost  _ seventy years  _ and I’ve, I’ve only just gotten here. I don’t--you shouldn’t have to--”

“No,” Taako says, and the forcefulness of the word seems to startle both of them. Taako swallows hard before repeating it. “No. You’re not--I don’t think--listen, I--” He makes a frustrated noise and digs his washcloth viciously into the plate. “Fuck, Krav. I don’t think you’re in the way. I-- _ shit, I hate feelings-- _ I fuckin’,” his hand stills in the water. “I want you here.”

Kravitz softens. “Yeah. I… I want to be here.” He smiles and nudges Taako until he looks at him.

Taako looks back at him with a smile of his own. “Yeah, yeah. Just, don’t get all weird about it.”

Kravitz laughs and plants a kiss on Taako’s cheek.

* * *

 

The next few cycles go by smoothly, beyond the typical giggles and jokes from the rest of the crew, especially Lup. Some are more difficult than others and seeing Taako die is never any easier for Kravitz, but he does stop trying to form a golem to fight everybody else.

Needless to say, everybody is greatly relieved upon arriving on a planet quite similar to one they had seen before.

The world is completely tropical, full of green, palm-lined beaches and rich with islands. Beautiful, cresting waves splash across the sandy shores.

“Hell yeah! Beach year 2.0!” Taako cries, punching the air. “I'm gonna find my surfboard!”

“Wait, what?” Kravitz asks, looking away from the approaching planet and back, but Taako’s already gone.

The next few minutes are a flurry of activity around Kravitz, who watches the excited crew gather picnic baskets and swimsuits and towels, shouting curses as they run into each other and occasionally whooping with glee.

Taako is the last one to pass by him, punching him lightly on the shoulder. Kravitz turns to see him dressed in swim trunks, shirtless, hair down, surfboard under his arm. “Hey. Can’t wear a suit to the beach, nerd.”

“Oh, I--I don't really--”

“Just poof it on like you do with your other clothes, homie,” Taako says, misunderstanding, and then he vanishes into the blue-and-gold of the day, leaving Kravitz opening and closing his mouth like a suited fish.

After a moment or two, Kravitz sighs and lets his clothes morph into a black T-shirt and black skull-print trunks. He ties back his locs and manifests a pair of shades before finally joining the rest of crew.

He exits the ship, onto the sands, incredibly hot beneath his cold feet. He can see Merle rambling to the Captain about something to do with the plant life, while Davenport stares off into the sea. Magnus is trying to hide behind said plants and failing terribly. Lucretia, still dressed in quite concealing clothes, writes in two journals as she sits on a beach towel. Lup and Barry are walking hand-in-hand, already approaching the horizon.

And there’s Taako, out in the water, paddling his board further and further out, the sunlight glimmering off of his wet hair and shoulders.

Kravitz stands, arms crossed, watching the elf out in the gentle swells. From here on the beach he can see the tanned lines of his body, the toned muscle on his skinny frame, and he can imagine the constellations of freckles across his chest and shoulders.

And then a huge wave rises in front of Taako, and Kravitz is anxious for just a moment before he sees Taako stand on his board and  _ ride the crest. _ In awe, he stares at him, arms splayed out, back bent forward, legs spread in a wide, balanced stance, hair flowing, as the sea spray glitters around him and Taako screams, “ _ Hang ten!” _ so loud that it rings clearly across the shore.

It takes Kravitz far too long to realize he’s staring, as he watches Taako ride across the duration of the wave, until it starts to curl in, gradually curling around and over Taako. Kravitz steps forward, nervous, hand out as if he may have to summon his scythe and portal in to help, as Taako disappears behind the water. And then, he reappears, just making it out as the wave collapses in on itself, looking cocky as all hell, even from a distance.

Kravitz blinks from behind his sunglasses, unable to stop a smile from forming as he sees Taako sit down, straddling the board, and wave at him. “Lookin’ good, Bones!” he calls. “Mind losing that shirt?”

“Gross!” Lup calls from a distance.

Kravitz shakes his head. “No thanks,” he replies, grinning. “I'm fine like this. I can't overheat, so what's the point?”

“Viewing pleasure!” Taako tells him.

Kravitz blushes with a sigh, still the smallest bit nervous, and snaps his fingers, causing the shirt to disappear in a cloud of smoke.

With some amusement, Kravitz sees Taako almost fall off his board. “Happy?” he calls.

Taako paddles quickly to shore, tossing his board on the sand before grabbing Kravitz by the wrist and tugging him towards the ocean. “C’mon,” he says, laughing, “come out with me!”

“Taako, I--”

“What? Never learned to swim?” A teasing grin is thrown his way and Kravitz sighs but, smiling, allows himself to be pulled into the surf.

The combined hot sun and warm water gradually bring Kravitz’s body to a temperature one might actually mistake for alive. Taako stalls once the water reaches up to his chest, at the top of Kravitz’s waist. Taako drapes his arms over Kravitz’s shoulders and pulls him close. “Finally got you heated up, huh, Bones?”

Kravitz breathes a laugh, turning his head to try to see Taako. “I suppose,” he says. Then, with no warning, he topples backwards and into the water, taking Taako with him.

The elf screeches as he comes up, smacking Kravitz across the shoulders as he spits water out of his mouth. “What the fuck?!” he yells.

Kravitz is laughing too hard to answer, so he just pushes him back under the water.

When Taako resurfaces this time, he stares back at Kravitz, almost angry. For a moment, Kravitz is worried. Then, Taako’s expression changes to a smile of complete mischief. Kravitz doesn’t know if he should be relieved or horrified as Taako raises his hands, the water around him receding as he casts Control Water, raising it in a wall around Kravitz nearly twenty feet high, and letting it all crash over him.

Kravitz stays under for a little longer than necessary, just for revenge, so when he comes up he’s met with a worried Taako who says “You ass!” with no conviction and splashes him lightly for emphasis.

Kravitz laughs, pulling a pouty Taako into a hug and plucking the wet strands of gold hair from his face. “Taako, love, I don’t  _ breathe _ . Remember?”

“Oh, shut up,” Taako mutters against him, slowly giving in and wrapping his arms around Kravitz as well.

“Oh, come on,” someone--Magnus?--calls from the shore, “just kiss already!”

“You shut up too!” Taako shouts at him.

“He does have a point,” Kravitz muses, leaning down towards Taako’s face with a sly grin.

Taako giggles. “Yeah, but don’t let him know that. It’ll just go to his head.” And he tilts his head up, allowing their lips to meet.

It tastes of sunlight and seawater and laughter, and Kravitz doesn't want to ever let it end. But, unfortunately, one of them has to breathe, and so Taako pulls back with a sharp intake of breath, followed by a dazed laugh. “Uh, damn,” he says.

“You say that every time, love,” Kravitz comments, nonetheless pleased.

“Yeah, well I’ll stop saying it when I stop meaning it, dumbass,” Taako retaliates before pulling him back down.

Someone whistles from the shore, but neither can find it in himself to care.

* * *

 

The years pass easily, and each decade, the Raven Queen insists that he keep staying for “purely professional observation.” And each time nobody in the entire Astral Plane believes it.

They at last come across a plane similar to their own after a full hundred years of travel. Lucretia and Lup and Barry have their plans to discuss the next day, but for now, Kravitz is lying in Taako’s bed with the elf’s head resting on his chest, dozing off. It all feels so warm and right. Like home, Kravitz thinks. It’s been a long time since he’s had a real one of those. He feels something in his chest he presumes must be love, for that is precisely what he feels in this moment. But, then, it  _ moves _ . His heart slowly begins pumping again in a lazy, slow rhythm.

And Kravitz is suddenly overwhelmed by panic.

“Taako,” he gasps, clutching at his chest, the elf, the couch. “My--my  _ heart.” _

“Mmh. What's up?” Taako says sleepily.

“My _ heart,” _ Kravitz says again, “it’s  _ beating.” _

“Is it?” Taako presses a large ear to the reaper’s chest, then pulls back, eyes wide. “Your fuckin’--your heart!” he gasps.

“Yes, I know. I don't know  _ why.” _

The elf sits back on his heels, a puzzled expression wrinkling his forehead and bringing out his dimples. “That's fuckin’ weird, babe.”

“Yeah.” Kravitz nods rapidly, holding a hand over his chest. “I know.” He starts to hyperventilate as he tries to adjust to the old feeling of actually having a heartbeat. “A-am I  _ dying? _ ”

Taako shakes his head. “Calm down, babe. You’re already dead.”

“But then  _ why- _ ”

Taako’s confused expression slowly melts into a sly smile. “You  _ loooove _ me. Don’t you?”

“Yes, of course, but I don't--I don't see how--”

“Power of love, baby!” Taako throws up his hands victoriously. “I brought your dead-ass heart back to life!”

Kravitz takes a moment to let this idea sink in. He can almost hear the Raven Queen laughing in the back of his mind.

“But--” he splutters. “This shouldn't be--”

“Shhh,” Taako says, covering his mouth. “Just let it happen, Bones.”

“But-but I…” He takes some deep breaths and tries to allow himself to relax. Taako reaches out and hugs him, smiling at his accomplishment. “Okay.”

They’re still for a moment, and then Kravitz notices something else.

“Taako,” he says slowly, “when did I start breathing?”

* * *

 

They vote on their plan, Kravitz voting with the majority for fear of losing his connection between the Prime Material and Astral Planes. He feels a bit bad, seeing Lucretia so disappointed in the outcome, but feels certain it was the right choice.

The crew makes their artifacts and waits out the rest of the year. When nothing happens, everybody is relieved.

It seems like everything is going perfectly. Kravitz remains positive that the war among the planet below will gradually end on its own. But, as time passes, this seems less and less likely.

And the first morning Barry tells the crew about the note Lup left, Kravitz can sense Taako grow nervous. Each day Lup fails to return is hard enough. Each piece it takes from Taako’s spirit is unbearable.

Kravitz watches as Barry loses sleep, pulling several all-nighters in a row before collapsing over his desk. He watches as Lucretia grows fidgety, anxious, terrified, spending more and more time in her library. Magnus loses his spirit. Davenport grows tired. Merle doesn't tell jokes.

He watches as Taako grows more hollow, more desperate, more bitter, and he wants more than anything to bring a smile back to Taako’s face. So he does the only thing he can think of, and he asks Taako on a date.

* * *

 

Kravitz shows up precisely on time at the very nice restaurant where he and Taako were going to meet. Taako had told him to go on ahead, he was still getting ready--so here Kravitz is, waiting.

He checks his watch. Five minutes past. Taako should be here soon.

Another five minutes pass. People start looking at him sitting alone at his table and giving him looks of sympathy.

Another ten minutes and  _ now _ Kravitz is worried. Taako’s beauty regimen never takes  _ this _ long. He steps outside the restaurant and looks up at the sky, towards where the Starblaster is hovering. “He should be here by now,” he says to himself. Sighing, he takes his scythe and tears a hole into the hall outside Taako’s room.

“Taako,” he calls, knocking on the door. “Are you alright in there? You’re twenty minutes late.”

There’s no answer. Kravitz’s heart is pounding hard now, but even as he stands there, its rhythm begins to slow. He clutches at his chest as the beat grows more and more sluggish. “ _ Taako, _ ” he says, and he takes off down the hall.

The Starblaster’s interior is torn apart from top to bottom. Each room is dismantled and hastily put back together. He’s not in the sitting room. He’s not in the kitchen. He’s not in anyone’s bedroom, or in any of the small bathrooms, or on the deck, or in the lab. He’s nowhere.

Kravitz falls to his knees on the deck of the ship, weeping, terrified, and lonely, as his heart beats one final time,

And then halts.

* * *

 

Somewhere on Faerun, an elf sits huddled in the corner of a dark, chilly room. He hugs his knees to his chest and he shivers and he cries.

There is only one thought in his mind: a single, simple statement that just manages to break through the static in his head.

“I’m--I’m Taako,” he whispers to the emptiness, just to keep himself sane, just to make the silence bearable. “I’m Taako.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz confronts Lucreita. Taako sees some familiar bones. Tres boys come together.

There’s a crash from Taako’s room and Lucretia’s there in an instant, still wiping tears from her eyes after having dropped everyone else off at their destinations, their homes, where they belonged and they would be happy--

“Oh,  _ Taako, _ ” she sighs. She’d had plans for him, she really did, but there was too much to erase. She knows it’s necessary, she knows she has to keep him blank. But staring at him, huddled and shaking and crying on his floor, looking smaller than he ever has before, she wonders if this really was the right idea.

_ Of course it was, _ she chides herself. It’s the only way to keep Kravitz on her side. It’s the only way to keep him trusting her.

So she gathers Taako into her arms--he’s so light, she thinks--and she squirrels him away in a room she’d had her eye on for a few days now--it’s small, it’s cold, it’s underground, and it’s not exactly comfortable, but this is temporary. Once she puts her plan in motion she’ll put him someplace better.

“I’m, I’m, I’m,” he sobs, and she shushes him quietly, like a mother to her child, and she has to force herself to close and lock the door on his quivering form before returning to the Starblaster and finding Kravitz already there, already having discovered the awful, awful truth.

He hears her approach and flinches at the sound, only to relax upon seeing the familiar face. He rises to his feet and steps quickly toward her. “Lucretia, dear gods, what happened? Where’s Taako?” His eyes are red, beyond just the irises, his grief obvious on his face.

“Kravitz, I--” She bites her lip before saying the words she knows she has to. “Kravitz, I don’t know. He--he ran away after…” She can’t stop it, the weight of what she’s done hits her like a brick and the sob that wrenches itself from her throat is real and genuine and painful and she claps a hand over her mouth to muffle the ones that follow.

“Lucretia,” Kravitz says, aghast, “what have you done?”

The accusation cuts like a knife, even more so because she knows it’s true. “I…” She sighs and lets a few tears fall silently to her cheeks. “I wiped their memories. With the Voidfish. Everybody’s: Barry, Magnus, Merle, Captain Davenport…” She looks at Kravitz sorrowfully. He knows, but she still has to say it. “Taako. I-I meant to relocate him somewhere safe! With you, even! But-but he ran off before I could-”

“How could you-?” Kravitz yells more than asks. “How could you do this? Why?”

“It’s the only way I can save us all!” she cries. “It’s the only way we’ll be safe! You don’t--nobody--nobody understands how awful the world is because of the Relics! It’s--it’s the only way I’ll be able to…” She sighs. “Maybe, if they don’t remember any of it, they’ll be safer. They’ll be… they’ll be happier.”

“ _ Happier? _ ” Kravitz snaps, “They aren’t even themselves anymore, Lucretia! For all we know Taako could be  _ dead _ somewhere!” He pauses, his words finally hitting him. The idea of losing him is too much to bear. He can hardly believe he even said it. He shakes his head. “This isn’t all about you, Lucretia.”

“I  _ know, _ ” she says. “That’s why I did it. I’m--I’m  _ so sorry. _ But this isn’t just about Taako anymore. It’s about the world. This is… it’s the only way to stop the Hunger, Kravitz. I’m sorry.”

And she turns, and she leaves the room, and Kravitz is left with the ringing silence of a woman gone cold.

-

The portal tears open and Kravitz steps before the Raven Queen, dressed quite out of place and feeling much the same, not having bothered to request an actual meeting. He drops to his knees and bows before her. “My Lady, I beg of you, I need your help.”

She leans forward, casting a massive shadow over her reaper. The lights in the room flicker and dim. “What could possibly warrant this unseemly conduct before your Goddess, Kravitz?”

Kravitz closes his eyes tightly and curls his hands into fists, nails digging sharply into his palms. “My Lady, I… someone of great importance to me has gone missing and I- I know you have much more important matters, but if you… if you would be so merciful as to…”

A breeze carries through the chamber as the Raven Queen sighs. “He is not dead, Kravitz. I would have sensed his passage to our realm. Compose yourself, dear reaper.”

Kravitz opens his eyes, both relieved and a bit terrified. He sits back and looks up at his Goddess. “I… Yes. Thank you, My Lady.”

She waves a hand. “I do hope you find him. But, he yet lives. Be now on your way.”

Kravitz bows again before summoning his scythe and leaving the throne room.

~

Kravitz doesn’t sleep that night, or the next, or the next. Without Taako there to drag him under the covers, he forgets. And without Taako there to shove steaming plates of perfectly plated food onto the table in front of him, Kravitz also forgets to eat.

Instead, he throws himself into his work with the earnesty of a man desperate to suppress his emotion. He’s gone for hours, days, at a time, rarely putting on his flesh, rarely letting himself see his face in the mirror, for fear of remembering that this is the face that Taako loved-- _ loves, _ he will always correct himself--and might never see again. Kravitz is grieving, though grief is for the living. Beyond death, Kravitz grieves.

And then, there is a flash of hope a few weeks after Taako’s disappearance, after the memory wipe. Lucretia has by this point established a tentative organization of a few people in a very secretive location just outside the Felicity Wilds, and she calls him to her office shortly after he returns from securing a bounty.

“Kravitz,” she says, standing at her desk, smiling. “Kravitz, I think I’ve found a clue.”

Something lurches in Kravitz’s stomach, and he thinks it’s hope. “What is it? What did you find? Do you know where he is?”

Her smile falters a bit, but she holds out a hand. He turns one of his own palm-up and into it, she places a necklace. “I think this is Taako’s. I found it on the beach near Merle’s house. He didn’t see him but maybe…”

Kravitz stares at the necklace. It is, in fact, Taako’s--one of his favorites. Jade-studded gold glimmers in the warm lights of Lucretia’s office and taunts him with its secrets. He closes his hand around it and clutches it tight. “Thank you,” he says, and leaves her office with a swirl of his black cloak.

-

Taako is huddling under the blankets in a corner one day--or night; it’s hard to tell without windows--when Lucretia steps into the room with a bag. For the past couple months, she usually just comes by to bring food, check in on him, try fruitlessly to talk with him, but today is different. Different is scary.

“We’re leaving,” she says plainly, trying still to look as gentle as possible, “Somewhere good. Better than here. You’ll like it!”

Taako pokes his head out from his blanket pile and looks at her. “T-Taako?” he tries to ask something, neither entirely sure just what.

“Mhm,” Lucretia hums nonetheless, “You’ll like it. It’ll be nice and warm, and-and you’ll have stuff to read and do and…” She stares at him hopefully. “Maybe you’ll feel more like yourself?”

Taako thinks for a moment, wordless thoughts, and shakes his head. “Taako.”

Lucretia sighs and starts putting his clothes into the bag. “Still just as stubborn…” she muses, “Come on, Taako, I promise.” She eventually finishes packing everything away and walks up to the mass of blankets with one, frail elf inside and extends a hand. “Please?”

-

She manages to sneak him onto the base without much trouble. A few hours later, she sits behind Taako on a soft bed, brushing out his hair as he flips mindlessly through one of many books she hopes he’ll read. The brush gets caught on a knot. Again. Taako whimpers as she tugs at it. “Honestly, Taako, how did you ever deal with all this?” Then she remembers and laughs fondly: Lup.

She looks to the dresser near the door and spies a pair of scissors atop it.  _ That could make things easier… _

She tries not to think of how angry Taako would be if he were really himself, the kind of fight he’d put up. Nobody would make it out unharmed. Now, he just sits quietly, looking confused at glass nail polish containers, as she cuts his hair short around his head.

Taako hardly even notices, much less cares. His head is too full of static to truly take in his surroundings. He is comfortable, more or less. More than he was in that other room. But, everything is just a lot to take in. He stares at the different colors in his hands before dropping them to the ground with a harsh noise. The woman says something like a scold, but Takko can’t understand, nor does he care.  She picks them up and says something to Taako that sounds soft before leaving, shutting the heavy door behind her with a click.

He walks to the small bookshelf and pulls out another book, one with pictures. Wonderful. Simple. He flips through the pages. There are plenty of drawings of people from a variety of races: humans, elves, orcs, etc, all standing plainly with lines pointing to various parts. There are studies of their faces, some weird wrinkly looking mess with a line connecting it to the top of a drawn elf’s head. Taako points to the top of his own head, unsure what exactly it is meant to display.

He turns another page, and starts screaming. He pushes the book away from him without bothering to shut it. He scatters against the wall, sliding to sit on the floor, crying and confused as the static overwhelms his mind. He tears at what is left of his hair. Despite his distress, he can’t manage to take his mind off the image, as the anatomy book stays open, turned to the page with a human skull.

The static runs through his head, thick and all encompassing. Even his vision is fading in on the edges as he screams and cries, pulling his knees up to his chest and rocking back and forth. “I… I’m Taako! I- Taako!”

He finds it harder and harder to breathe as the sensation of static floods over from his mind to his ears to all over his skin. It all sounds and feels like frizzled nothing, as his vision collapses inward, spirally down to a black, empty void.

-

Kravitz manages to find his way out of the frozen hellscape of the north intact, having found the most recent lead on Taako’s disappearance, just like the other dozen or so, completely fruitless. As he walks back into a snow-dusted village, he remembers the skeleton form he’s been maintaining throughout the entire excursion. It wouldn’t be the first time he had caused an entire town to panic over a living corpse, but he would prefer to avoid that. As he nears the warm glow of the fires that light the streets, Kravitz attempts to pull back flesh over his hollow bones.

But, nothing happens.

He tries again, only to produce a similar result. At best, he manages to cover his skull with the apparition of a face, skin, and hair and does his best to cover the rest of his body.

Kravitz has never felt so  _ cold. _ It’s not just the biting wind from the northern tundra. It’s not just the xenophobic stares of people who never get visitors. It’s the absence of  _ life. _

He hasn’t felt this way in decades, not since he met Taako and the IPRE. The crew of the Starblaster was full of energy, in constant motion, never ceasing, always bouncing from one place to another--discovering, changing, saving, creating. The heat from their souls, the light they emitted, was bright enough to rival a sun.

And  _ Taako. _ Taako had always been made of sunlight, of warm breeze and birdsong, of baking cookies and sizzling pancakes and fresh hot dinners, of warm sweaters and fireplaces and piles of blankets, of lilacs and roses and gardenia. Taako had always been summer and softness and silly, and he had brought such life to Kravitz that, for the first time in centuries, his heart had restarted.

But now, he’s a shell. A winter without its summer. Cold and dead and lifeless, bleak and stark.

Kravitz’s artificial face flickers, and he tugs his hood up over his locs. He is as bitter as the cold.

-

After the winter hellscape escapade, Kravitz spends a few days recharging in the Astral Plane. The Raven Queen doesn’t ask him what’s wrong with his form. She doesn’t have to.

Eventually, however, he decides to return to Lucretia. It hasn’t taken her long to build a huge, heavily disguised base hovering in the sky, hidden behind a construct that looks like a moon, and Kravitz is still somewhat in awe of how she accomplished this.

He tears a portal directly into her office, and is greeted by not only the “Director” herself, but the Captain. “Davenport!” the gnome chirps as Kravitz steps into the room.

“Hello,” Kravitz greets with a wave. He doesn’t return Davenport’s smile; it’s frankly upsetting to see the Captain in such a state. “Lucretia,” he continues. “Your lead just took me to another dead end.”

Lucretia looks up from her papers to frown at him. She sighs wearily. “And I had such high hopes…”

Kravitz steps closer to her, some small part of him impressed by the elaborate disguise and architecture of the fake moon. “Maybe we aren’t doing enough,” he postulates, “Maybe… maybe I’m just not trying hard enough and he’s out there and I’m just not  _ looking _ hard enough-”

“Kravitz,” she interrupts, holding up a hand in a silent command. She has become much more bold, he notices. “You’re doing everything you can. We all are.”

He nods, reluctant to agree, but seeing no reason not to believe her. “I know.”

She sighs, and a hand reaches up to massage her temple. “Kravitz, I…. You have to understand, I’m doing everything in my power to find Taako, but I also need to recover the Relics. I’m going back to the Felicity Wilds tomorrow, I’ve recently been informed of the existence of one of our Relics in there.”

Kravitz wants to argue, to try to get her to understand why this is  _ wrong, _ but he doesn’t have the energy for this discussion. “Good luck,” he says, and steps through another rift, back into the Astral Plane.

Tired, desperate, worn down, the reaper slumps to the ground in front of the obsidian dais and pushes a sob from his throat. “I can’t do this,” he says.

There’s a sound like the rustling of feathers as the goddess sighs, a sorrowful noise that enhances the emotion in Kravitz’s heart.  _ Istus had not foreseen these events, my child, but she tells me that your love is not dead, nor is he lost, simply--out of reach, and assures you that you must have hope. _

Kravitz cannot find words for this--he has no reply, only sobs that wrack his chest as he tries to cough up the pain that has lodged between his ribs.

Another sigh, and the Raven Queen folds her wings around him in a feathery embrace and hums,  _ Rest, my dearest reaper. You are weary and grieving. Let me soothe your worries. _

So he relinquishes control, and his consciousness drifts, unfeeling, in the comforting darkness of his goddess.

-

It’s several weeks later, over a month he supposes, when Kravitz emerges from the Astral Plane once more. Still unable to assume his human form, he makes do with his skeletal figure as he opens a rift onto the fake moon. He immediately steps into the base, right into Lucretia’s office, in order to ask her if she has any news on Taako, but what he sees when he arrives makes him drop his scythe and take a few steps back in shock. “Barry?” he gasps. “Merle? M-Magnus?”

Lucretia stands at her desk, looking with some concern between the trio and Kravitz. Her hair has somehow gone stark white and wrinkles have formed under her eyes. Subtly, she shakes her head at him.

Barry’s staring at Kravitz with wide eyes. “Madam Director, what the fuck? Is that  _ Death _ ? How does he know my fucking name?”

Lucretia flinches as she sees the expression on Kravitz’s face, hears the tone in Barry’s voice, but her voice is strong and steady. It drips with no small amount of gravitas. “He’s my… friend. I suppose. He helps me with information and hunts bounties for the Raven Queen.”

Barry suddenly looks frightened. “The Raven Queen? Goddess of the laws of life and death.” He looks at Kravitz, almost pleadingly. “L-look, all that stuff I did is  _ hardly _ even necromancy! I-I can assure you that I-”

Kravitz shakes his head. “You’re not in any trouble, Barry. You know this.”

Barry exhales a sigh of relief. “Oh. Okay. I… I didn’t know, but… thanks.”

Lucretia clears her throat. The entire room looks to her in confusion. “Kravitz,” she begins, “May I speak with you privately?”

He agrees and she calls him aside to an empty room just outside her office. She locks the door behind them and casts silence on the walls to keep their voices from leaving the room.

Kravitz looks at her, somewhat angry. “What in the name of life and death is going on, Lucretia?”

She looks at him calmly. “I explained this already. Their minds, their memories, are gone.”

“Then why are they here?” he snaps.

“Because I can’t do this on my own.” She sighs.

Kravitz takes a moment to compose himself somewhat. “What happened to you?” he asks, more gently than his previous demands.

Lucretia sighs and rubs her face with a hand. “Wonderland,” she says quietly. “I’m certain you’ve heard of it.”

Kravitz certainly has. “Yes--one of my more dangerous bounties I have yet to take care of. I haven’t had… the energy of late to complete that particular task. But that doesn’t explain what  _ happened. _ ” To see Lucretia like this, older, thinner, frailer, is strange and worrying to him. He remembers her as a young, shy woman, always hanging back, never quite sure where to insert herself in a conversation. Now, somehow, she has become older, stronger in character and more imposing in figure.

“The liches within the walls of Wonderland stole twenty years from my life,” she sighs, and the ache in her voice as she says this makes Kravitz ache too. “They live off of the suffering of other people. They take, and they take, and they take. They took the Animus Bell. They took a childhood memory of mine. They took my youth.” There’s a pause, where she exhales, long and shuddering, full of something like pain. “They even took one of my friends.”

Kravitz bites his lip, wants to say something like, _You took my friends, now you know how I feel,_ but then he realizes that she already knew how he feels, she’s known for as long as he has, she feels his pain, and he remains silent.

Lucretia takes a moment to compose herself. “But that’s over. For now. At some point, someone will have to go back in there and retrieve the Bell. But… not until they are better prepared than I was.”

“Wait,” Kravitz interjects, “ _ they _ ? You mean Merle, Magnus, and Barry? You’re sending them out there into complete  _ danger _ ?”

“Well. Not Barry. If he dies, he becomes a lich. He remembers. I’ll have to find a different, safer job for him.”

Kravitz sighs. “I’ve told you this before--I hate this plan. But,” he continues, clacking his fleshless jaw decisively, “if you know that this is the safest option for them, then I suppose it’s the best choice to make.”

Lucretia smiles, tight and a little unsure. “Thank you, Kravitz. It means a lot.” She hesitates. “You didn’t come to talk to me about this.”

“No.” Somehow, in his skeletal form, he still manages to look nervous. “Any news about Taako?”

Lucretia bites her lip and shakes her head. “No. I’m sorry, Kravitz. I’m looking, I really am--but I have an organization to look after now. I’m very busy. I’m doing all I can, I really am.” She studies him now, her deep brown eyes sad. “I never knew your physical form was so dependent on him.”

“Neither did I,” he says softly. “I never… I’ve never lost this ability to appear human before now.”

“Kravitz, I--” She reaches out towards him. “-I’m sorry.”

He turns out of her reach and steps aside. “Let’s just bring him back.” And, swinging his scythe in a silver arc, Kravitz disappears through a rift.

-

“Hello, Taako,” the familiar, somewhat fuzzy voice of the Lady says as the door swings open. Taako leaps from his bed and claps his hands excitedly as he spots what she’s holding. “I brought you something,” she adds, holding up the gifts.

Taako points to himself and dramatically asks, “Taako?”

The Lady laughs. “Yes, just for you.” She holds the gifts out to him with a smile. “I saw them and thought you might like it.”

Taako beams as he takes the items from her hands: two soft, pastel pink plush unicorns, each as big as his head. He hums and nods at the gesture. “Hmm. I’m Taako,” he says almost as some sort of affirmation of the quality of the gifts. He quickly runs back to his bed and sets the two down among the many other plush toys he has collected over however long he’s been here, he can’t quite remember. He stares at them for a long moment before shaking his head and reaching for one of the two, yanking at the horn in an attempt to pull it off.

The Lady gives a small gasp from the doorway and says something that sounds a little upset, but Taako shakes his head again, more firmly. He knows what he’s doing. Tugging a little harder, he feels the stitching give under his hands a little bit, and after a few more yanks, the horn comes right off.

The Lady chides him. “Taako--now see, you’ve torn it.” She sounds disappointed.

Taako ignores her and grabs the other toy, pressing the detached horn to its forehead as if it would just stay there if he tried hard enough. 

“Oh,” the Lady says, “Wait, let me…” She tries to take away the unicorn.

Taako at first resists stubbornly, but gradually allows her to take it away. She walks to the dresser and takes out something from a drawer. Unsure exactly what she’s doing, Taako watches, almost protective of the toy, as she sticks a needle through it and guides a string in and out of the fabric, all around the base of the horn, before tying it off and presenting it back to Taako.

She says something, but he isn’t listening. He just grabs the soft figure and marvels at it. He’s not certain what it is, but something about it looks better this way; looks right. “Taako,” he says, grinning. He turns to beam at her, and she gives him a small smile in return. “Taako,” he adds, like an afterthought.

“Taako,” she says. “Are you… are you happy?”

He considers her words, studying the toy in his hands. Eventually, though, he nods, and he smiles at her. There’s something he wants to say, but it just evades him every time he goes to say it. He settles for, “I’m Taako,” and decides that he’s going to play with his binicorn.

The Lady stays there and watches him play for a few minutes before saying, “I have to go. I’ll bring you dinner in an hour,” and leaving.

After the door is shut, Taako drops the toy and walks cautiously over towards his bookshelf. His feet squish into the soft rug beneath him and for a moment he gets distracted, standing in the middle of the floor and curling his toes in the rich shag. Then he remembers what he’d gotten up to do and finishes his journey to the shelf.

With one skinny arm, he reaches behind the shelf and pulls out the book full of bodies and bones. As he’s done for the past few days, he flips to the page with a human skull and stares at it. It swims in front of his eyes, speckly and out of focus, and his ears and head are full of buzzing emptiness. There’s something he should know. There’s something here he should be thinking about.

Taako realizes he’s crying. He doesn’t know when that started. Tears trickle down his cheeks and drip off of his nose, and he wonders why he’s sad--not for the first time.

Oh, well. He has his new toys to play with, and better books to look at. Wiping his eyes on his wrist, he shuts the book and places it behind the shelf once more.

-

The dorm room is a little small, a little crowded, and they’ve been placed with a weird stoner halfling, but Lucretia expects they’ll be fine. She expects great things from these three-- _ amazing _ things. Hopefully, they’ll be able to collect the Relics a lot faster.

She’s so proud of them, honestly. Barry collected the Gauntlet (Lup’s Gauntlet, she thinks) with little trouble, and Magnus doesn’t seem to have changed that much. Merle is a little older, a little greyer, a little more… crunchy, but he’s still Merle, as far as he can tell. They’re so powerful, and so good as a team.

Every time she sees them, she feels her heart twist in pain. Because there, in Barry’s hand, is Lup’s Umbrastaff. But there’s no Lup. Barry doesn’t even know that he’s holding onto the last remaining evidence that his wife even existed, and that thought alone makes Lucretia’s chest ache with a terrible grief.

But she can’t say anything about it. She’s Madame Director. She doesn’t know who they are, or where they’re from, or what their favorite foods are on rainy days. She doesn’t know that Merle loves to color in those mandala coloring books. She doesn’t know that Magnus has always wanted to build a house on a sheer cliff face just because he wants to see if he can. She doesn’t know that Barry once ate three beetles on a dare. Lucretia doesn’t know them, because, really, these aren’t her boys anymore.

Merle is bitter, flighty, anxious after a messy family life. Magnus is broken after a happy marriage ended in grief. Barry is empty, lost, searching for something he doesn’t remember misplacing.

It’s a terrible sight, she thinks, watching these three men wandering alone without one hundred years of memories. Luckily, she reminds herself, she’s there to guide them. Once they collect the Relics, this will all be over. Once they collect the Relics, everything will be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading; we hope you enjoyed it! Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


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